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Sex Hacks for People Who Can't Get Enough of Life Hacks

If you like crafting with toilet rolls, you'll love these 13 surefire ways to efficiently maximize intercourse with your sexual partner.
September 30, 2015, 3:00pm
Photo by Howl via Stocksy

Sure, sex is good, but shouldn't it be better? Don't you wish there were tips and tricks to take your night of oral, vaginal, or anal penetration to that next level? Interested in sexually stimulating touch but wish there were more cut up, recycled toilet paper rolls involved?

From the people who brought you "Chill your wine by putting frozen grapes in it instead of ice," and "Use bread tags to keep your flip flops from breaking," here are some simple tips and tricks that will make your sex life 13 times more efficient, guaranteed.

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– Repurpose a soap dispenser into a lube dispenser. Then keep another soap dispenser nearby, to wash off all the lube!

– It's fun to whisper dirty words and phrases into your partner's ear during intercourse. But when you're apart, this can be harder. Instead of shrieking "fuck me daddy" at full volume in a public place and hoping it reaches them, why not take out your phone and type the words? To get your message there extra fast, make sure to press send.

– All you need for an impromptu vibrator is an electric toothbrush and a roommate who won't notice when their toothbrush is missing.

– Send the cat out of the room for an instantly sexy vibe.

– Almost anything in your home can be used to spank someone. Spanking is just hitting!

Photo by Kristin Rogers Photography via Stocksy

– Turn a pants hanger and some condoms into a conversation-starting mobile.

– Got a bunch of old cleaning supplies lying around? Throw them out, and then have sex in the clutter-free area under the sink.

– When making love, lean in and whisper in your partner's ear, "I'm going to turn our baby's crib into a fun desk area when they grow out of it."

– Fold your fitted sheet perfectly, then have sex on the bare mattress for a dangerous, "Whose house is this?" vibe.

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– Go up to women in bars and tell them you keep pancake mix in a ketchup bottle, "To make cooking breakfast for you tomorrow a breeze."

– If you can't choke on that D due to time constraints, physical limitations, or a hangover, a quick and easy solution is to just make a bunch of choking sounds. 98 percent of men won't know the difference! (Advanced hack: if your guy is in the 2 percent who do notice, call him a liar and lock yourself in the bathroom until morning.)

– Drip wax from leftover candles on each other. Don't forget to collect the wax at the end to make a new, scented candle afterwards.

– Make cake in a mug, then fuck that cake.