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Food

Joe Biden Is Getting His Very Own Flavor of Ice Cream

The former vice president has long been known for being really, really, really, really, really into ice cream—and here's what his will taste like.
Joe Biden photo by Tommy Gilligan/USMA Public Affairs; ice cream photo by Flickr user jpellgen

Last week, Joe Biden broke thousands of hearts with five words: "Guys, I am not running."

Speaking in front of a sold-out Democratic fundraiser, the former Vice President said that no, he would not be making a third run for President in 2020. But we can still dream, we can still remember a simpler time, just a few months ago, when Biden was still our Ray Ban-wearing, Amtrak-riding, well-adjusted, meme-generating Vice President whose love for this country was only matched by his love for a perfectly scooped ice cream cone.

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If you've been thinking about Biden every day, imagining yourselves clinging to his pant leg, sobbing "COME BACK, UNCLE JOE, WE MISS YOU" into his dress socks, remember that he's still out there, making appearances at fundraisers, sending adorable tweets about his wife, and, on May 27, giving the convocation address at Cornell University. The school has decided to honor him in the best possible way: by naming an ice cream flavor after him.

Cornell senior Molly Mandel, who interned at the nearby Cornell Dairy Processing Plant, knew that Biden ice cream just had to happen. She teamed up with Deanna Simons, the quality manager and academic programs coordinator for the dairy, and the two started to work. "There's these pictures of him eating all kinds of ice cream," Simons told the Cornell Sun. "I didn't even know how to figure out what his favorite ice cream is."

Simons contacted the UDairy Creamery at Biden's alma mater, the University of Delaware, to ask if it had ever commemorated him in frozen dairy form—and to find out what his favorite flavor might be. (As an aside, I feel like I should've been asking, "Does this school have its own ice cream factory?" when I was choosing which college to attend.) The answers to those questions were no, and chocolate chip, respectively. (Those who have followed Biden's ice cream obsession would know that already; for example, during a 2014 stop in Oregon, he asked the owners of Salt & Straw which of its artisanal flavors were closest to chocolate chip.)

Surprisingly, no one has made a Biden ice cream flavor before. A Change.org petition urging Ben & Jerry's to create one fell ridiculously short of its 15,000 signature goal. (Although the Vermonters reportedly declined, citing the company's nonpartisanship, it did release an ultra limited-edition flavor called Bernie's Yearning.)

After learning about Biden's flavor preferences, Cornell Dairy filled three 30-gallon tubs with vanilla ice cream and chocolate chips, and now they wait. The school held an online poll to determine the name of the ice cream—suggestions included Bits n' Biden and Uncle Joe's Chocolate Chip—and he will presumably be presented with a ceremonial cone during the school's convocation ceremonies.

Please, Cornell, take plenty of pictures and post them everywhere. We need this. Good lord, we need this.