Valentine's Day is a couple of days away and, although I'll be spending it alone, hate-watching everyone's Snapchat stories, allow me to share some relationship tips. If your significant other takes the time to cook a meal for you, try to appreciate it, even if it tastes like sawdust and disappointment. When he or she asks how it is, don't say "It's just OK." And, if you're the cook, don't lose your shit if your loved one doesn't smile broadly with a mouthful of your spaghetti.
That might be oddly specific advice, but it's a lesson that Jodi Ecklund learned last week. The Merrimack, New Hampshire woman is facing six felony charges after she allegedly assaulted her boyfriend, Jason Martin, all because he didn't love her spaghetti. She asked Martin if he liked the pasta lunch she'd just prepared, he said it was "OK," and she took it poorly, reportedly punching him in the head, throwing some of his stuff into the parking lot, and then barricading herself in their apartment.
*** Police activity in the area of Webster Green Condominium Complex on Daniel Webster Highway North, please keep… https://t.co/JfA8fOmapZ
— Merrimack NH Police (@MerrimackPD) February 4, 2017
Police were called to their residence and Eckland engaged in an hours-long standoff with the officers, before eventually being taken into custody. "There was more than one gun inside of the residence," Merrimack police chief Denise Roy told the Union Leader. Roy said that Eckland had threatened to kill any officer who attempted to get into the apartment; the officers were forced to evacuate the entire apartment building while they attempted to reason with Ecklund.
*** The situation at the Webster Green Condominium complex has been resolved. Police are clearing the area. Thank… https://t.co/s6gRCOR9qP
— Merrimack NH Police (@MerrimackPD) February 5, 2017
When Ecklund finally surrendered, she was taken to a local hospital where she was treated for self-inflicted injuries. She is facing a laundry list of charges, including criminal mischief, domestic violence simple assault, criminal threatening, and reckless conduct. "I have bipolar [disorder," Ecklund said during her arraignment hearing. "I'm not this monster."
Ecklund isn't alone: in August, 2015, a Roswell, New Mexico man was arrested after "throwing a tantrum" over the way his wife cooked his spaghetti. Police went to Carl Harmon's home on a domestic disturbance call and found him losing his shit about his own pasta dinner; he was arrested on an outstanding probation violation.
And, just last month, a Maryland man was arrested after pulling his gun and shooting a round into his own kitchen after his wife took a bite of his grilled cheese. Yeah, know what? Maybe everyone should just go out to dinner for Valentine's Day. And maybe every other day.