A sugar baby is a young male or female who is financially pampered and cared for by a sugar daddy or sugar mommy in exchange for companionship. Welcome to Sugar Babies, a column about sugar babies and the food they eat on dates.
Alexandra is a 26-year-old filmmaker from the south of France. After spending the last couple of years traveling the world and making music videos, she recently ended up in New York. Broke, and without a working visa, Alexandra joined a sugar daddy website as a way to make fast cash, hoping to meet some interesting people in the process. But after a few fancy dinners, a threesome, and a strange encounter with a fetishist, she was surprised to find that the experiences became more valuable than the money.
MUNCHIES: So, who was the first sugar daddy you met? Alexandra: He was a 50-year-old finance big shot. We met for cocktails on the roof of the Kimberly Hotel—it's a luxury boutique hotel in Midtown with a really beautiful rooftop with a great view of the city. But the date was really boring at first, because the guy just bragged about how much money he has, and how he always gets what he wants. I was like, "OK, cool, but maybe you should try talking about something else." But it eventually got better—he told me the story of his difficult upbringing, and I started to feel more compassion for him. I think he's just really lonely, honestly.
Did you continue seeing him? Yeah, I've seen him three times now. We went to this one really cool place called Sakagura, which is non-sushi Japanese food. It's underground—like, literally, it's in this beautifully designed bunker-type-thing, underneath a really unassuming office building. It has over 200 types of sake and is one of the top sake bars in the country. We also went to Blue Ribbon Sushi, near Columbus Circle. The sashimi was so smooth and tender, I almost cried. It's funny when you realize that you can move to New York, become a sugar baby, and go to all the fancy, Sex and the City-type places that you see on TV. But then when I'm on the dates, I'm usually just wishing that I was having a cheap beer with my friends.
Are you sleeping with him? Well, on the first date I made it clear that I would have dinners, but I would never give him any sexual favors. Honestly, I think he keeps seeing me because he assumes that eventually I will give in, but I won't.
Are you just not into him physically? He's OK, but not really my type. To be fair I'm not really into guys—I'm into girls. I used to sleep with guys, but mainly only when I was really angry or wanted to have rough sex.
So, would you ever sleep with a sugar daddy, or are you strictly looking to form to platonic, "arm candy"-type arrangements? Well, I originally thought it would just be platonic, but I did end up fooling around with someone. Since being in New York, I've made friends with this girl who's also a sugar baby, and she had mentioned the idea of doing a threesome together, which seemed more appealing to me. So one evening I got a text from her that said, "If you can get to the St. Regis hotel within an hour my SD will give you $1k." So, I just thought, Fuck it, why not?
I went, but when I got there she was already super-drunk. They were in the hotel's King Cole cocktail lounge, and she immediately—and very indiscreetly—shoved a giant wad of cash in my coat pocket, and then within two minutes she passed out in the bar. The guy was like, "Oh, sorry. She's going to be OK, we just had two bottles of wine at lunch." And then he left to go put her down for a nap in his room. When he came back he immediately ordered me a $300 glass of scotch, as well as caviar, which cost $354. I told him that I didn't want them, and that it was a waste of money, but he was like, "Whatever, just order it." We ended up having a conversation about how rich people love to waste money, and he just kept saying, "Yeah, but you have to enjoy life."
Why was he so rich? He was a tech entrepreneur from San Francisco. He was about 40 and was really attractive, actually—I was into him. He's also an art collector, so he knew a lot about art, and we had a great conversation about that. We ended up getting super-drunk, and then went upstairs to his room. We had a threesome, although I didn't have penetrative sex with him. But the girl was fucking me, and spanking me a lot, and I got really into it. When I woke up the next morning my ass was killing me, and when I looked in the mirror my butt was full of bruises and broken blood vessels.
Ouch! Sounds fun, though. So, did that inspire you to meet other guys? Kind of. The next guy I met wanted to have a tickling session in a karaoke bar—the karaoke was part of the fantasy, I guess. First we met for cocktails at this really elegant cocktail parlor, Angel's Share, in the East Village. It was weird: You have to walk through a Japanese restaurant to get there, but then once you're inside it's very romantic and classy, and they have amazing cocktails. After that we went to Sing Sing, a nearby karaoke place with private rooms. The guy was about 35, cute and very smart, but he was super-anxious. He took off my shoes and started caressing my feet—all while Britney Spears was blasting in the background—and was trying to make me laugh. But I'm actually not ticklish at all, so it wasn't working.
Sounds awkward. It was. I told him not to pay me because it wasn't worth it. I've realized that I actually have a problem being paid by guys—I don't feel like I deserve it, so I can't spend the money on myself. I actually spent the money from the St. Regis guy on a plane ticket for my friend in France to come visit me. I probably should get over that issue, because I really do need the money for practical things, like rent.
So then what's the point of being on a sugar daddy website? I'm just really interested in people, and want to to know all the different types of people that can live in a city. And if someone's going to buy me dinner, that's cool, because I'm always hungry.
Thanks for talking with me.