Throw Momma from the train, and throw Grandma from the plane. Both of them are probably drunk as hell.
According to a probably unrepresentative poll of 1,000 Brits by the travel website Holiday Extras, women over the age of 65 drink way more than anyone else before stepping foot on a plane.
They are, says the poll, four times more likely to consume eight (or more!) units of alcohol before boarding than the average young male or female Britisher. A unit, in this case, refers to half a glass of wine or a third of a pint of beer—meaning that Grandma downed a whole bottle of merlot before she even reached the gangway.
Oddly enough, the poll found that a third of men drink before a flight, compared to only a quarter of women.
But once those ladies reach the Poise Pad age, they start knocking back the booze like, well, Grandma at Christmas.
Nearly half of the people polled also stated that they had witnessed drunk and disorderly passengers in airports. Holiday Extras did not note if those incidents primarily involved blowsy matrons clutching fiercely to their $12 mini-bottles of chardonnay as they attempted to charm their way into one of those seats with extra legroom.
"With the majority of recent disorderly passenger reports focusing on young people enjoying stag parties and destinations such as Ibiza, it would be easy to leap to the conclusion that [young men] would be most likely to drink in excess," Holiday Extras notes in its report. "However, this doesn't appear to be the case"
But who cares? Get it, girl. Grandma's going to Magaluf!