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Sports

James Harden's New Shoes, a Twitter Poll

The verdict is in, and it's not good.

No lie, I used to wear James Harden's shoes in kindergarten pic.twitter.com/pUsThlOdmA
— Kenny Ducey (@KennyDucey) October 23, 2015

Alright sneakerheads. Calm the F down. So what? James Harden's shoes might look a little bland, but what I've got to say is… wait, what? Those are his shoes?! You gotta be kidding me, my dude.

James Harden already has a tumultuous relationship with Adidas, after wearing Jordans in public, but is this the punishment? Whoever designed those kicks phoned them in. Like, seriously, they look like the kind of boring-ass white phone you find in a hotel from the 90's.

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Here's the best of what The Twitter has said about them so far:

James Harden shoes look like the shoes nurses in church wear
— Rev Jack Lonnie Love (@DrJackMaGrawPhD) October 23, 2015

Gotta have that non-slip in case you're carrying a scalpel.

Kid Mero takes it to a next level of detail, though:

OH SHIT THE YESENIA THE PHLEBOTOMIST LOWS ARE FIRE THOOO CANT WAIT FOR THE "6 WEEK CERTIFICATE" PACK TO DROP https://t.co/866DnRz6fu
— The Kid Mero (@THEKIDMERO) October 23, 2015

I mean, even actual nurses are getting in on the joke:

Adidas is paying James Harden $200 million to wear nursing shoes https://t.co/KMcj3Xks0g pic.twitter.com/AmlMb62nzT
— Nursing Update (@NursingUpdate) October 23, 2015

Enough with the nurses. What else?

RT if these shoes are Betty White Boca Raton Lows.Fav if they're James Harden's Light Boosts.pic.twitter.com/gpI35NpVw7
— Black Guy Emeritus (@ReverendDrDash) October 22, 2015

Then, there's your obvious Warriors-based dig:

They wrote a article on James Harden shoes pic.twitter.com/Iqr15PYCm4
— ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (@JusLX) October 23, 2015

Aaand Kid Mero couldn't let it go:

THESE SHOES AINT FOR BALLIN THEY FOR SIGNING IN TO USE THE COMPUTER AT THE LIBRARY https://t.co/866DnRz6fu
— The Kid Mero (@THEKIDMERO) October 23, 2015

No, but seriously. Back in my middle school in Oakland, fools used to pull the leg of their tube socks over the tops of their high tops. But Harden's shoes look like someone bought some Toms and slid a white sock up over the whole thing. Definition vanilla.

Alright, fine, it's what we've all been thinking.

Happy now?