Sergio Aguero Takes a Selfie with Heads of State Like They're Awkward Longtime Buds

.@aguerosergiokun: "Thank you for the selfie, President Xi" 感谢能与您自拍，习主席！#CFAStateVisit pic.twitter.com/4du2zIaacY
— Manchester City FC (@MCFC) October 23, 2015

What if, all of a sudden, Manchester City striker Sergio Aguero, UK's Prime Minister David Cameron, and China's President Xi Jinping found themselves in a buddy comedy? Well this morning was the opportunity to find out, as MCFC tweeted out a completely surreal selfie of the rag-tag bunch of old-time pals—reunited for the first time in ages. Ages.

By all definitions of the buddy comedy trope, you need a straight man, a diplomatic middle with a humanly relatable goal—say, maybe a Premier League title—and then the crazy one who just wants to throw down and get lit.

In this case, Xi Jinping is obviously the straight man.

He probably had some kind of adult influence on him that put his party days to rest—kids, say, or a wife (women, am I right, Hollywood?), or a boring 9 to 5 job. Look at him. It's as if someone just told him what a selfie was five seconds before taking it! But don't be fooled by how out-of-date he is with the lingo. He has a checkered past and used to party hearty with the boys—party even heartier than the rest of them. Boy, is he a ticking time bomb. Watch out for this one!

Then there's the wild one.

Probably got the band back together for old times sake. Party guy. The kind of dude who would have sex with a dead pig. Rough around the edges. Leather jacket. Cigarettes dangling from every orifice. Back in the day, he was trying to keep up with boys. Finally did, but too much, too late. He never really got it together. So self-interested. Don't get me started. Women. Booze. Drugs. Pigs (did we say pigs?). Keep an eye out for the moment when he realizes his selfish ways have overtaken his capacity to care for others. This man is David Cameron.

Then there's… Sergio Aguero. Really pretty vanilla, actually. Maybe it's his wedding. Maybe this is the last match they can attend before something happens. Maybe he's famous now, and the other two are asking for money, only to feel bad about manipulating him in the end. (Don't worry; there'll be a resolution of some kind.) Anyway, Sergio Aguero has no real personality or function but as a conduit to run the plot through.

So, you see. A lot of people have been talking up this selfie as something unprecedented or absurd, but really, it's a rote plot. We've all seen it before. They're just there to have a good time, attend an important personal event, and maybe learn a few lessons about friendship along the way.