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Deadly Russian Gangsters Smuggled Insane Amount of Chocolate, Feds Say

The FBI arrested 23 suspected Shulaya Enterprise members for a "dizzying array of criminal schemes," including extortion and contract killing.
Photo via Flickr user Andrew_Writer

While some gangs pull sophisticated hacking heists to steal Jeeps, and others focus on robbing high-profile graves, some, apparently, deal in the lucrative underground market of chocolate trafficking, according to NBC New York.

On Wednesday, the FBI arrested members of a Russian organized crime syndicate on a range of serious charges. Along with racketeering, contract killing, extortion, and credit card fraud, some members of the Shulaya Enterprise were allegedly trafficking 10,000 pounds of stolen chocolate, according to a Department of Justice press release.

Sadly, there still aren't too many details available regarding why a crime syndicate might have an interest in stealing and selling chocolate, or how one manages to procure such a vast quantity of the stuff. But according to the federal complaint, the gang had a wide range of maniacal schemes in the works—including robbing people by seducing them and drugging them with chloroform, and running an illegal poker business.

The feds believe that 33 members of the gang—which reportedly has ties to Ukraine, Georgia, and Russia—were involved in running their "dizzying array of criminal schemes" in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Nevada. While 23 members were taken into federal custody Wednesday—including suspected ringleaders Razhden Shulaya and Zurab Dzhanashvili—many are still reportedly on the loose.

The suspected chocolate culprits are slated to see their first day in federal court later on Wednesday, at which point more details about their case should surface. Hopefully, we can all get a little more insight on what the hell anyone would do with five tons of stolen chocolate, besides melt it into a giant river and swim in it like Augustus Gloop.