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Brad Marchand Got Mad That Someone Celebrated a Goal So He Beat Him Up

Marchand went full Marchand mode on the first night of the NHL season and pummeled Lars Eller. At least he didn't lick him?
Screen captures via NBCSN/Sportsnet - YouTube

The NHL season was barely a couple hours old before Brad Marchand went full Brad Marchand.

On a frustrating season opener for the Bruins, who dropped a 7-0 clunker to the Capitals on Wednesday, the Bruins forward not-so-affectionately known as The Rat apparently got a little triggered when Washington's Lars Eller did what you're generally supposed to do in hockey games and scored a goal.

Marchand absolutely lost his marbles following the Capitals' seventh tally, jumping Eller and landing a pair of absolute bomb-haymakers before slipping in an extra greasy punch right on the button as Eller fell to the ice.


So, why exactly did Marchand completely lose his shit?

Bruins coach Bruce Cassidy took his player's side after the incident, too. Obviously.

So, this appears to be one of those classic unwritten code violations—the old "don’t celebrate or act like you're enjoying yourself after scoring a goal in an NHL hockey game or you'll get your shit kicked in" routine. I get it, hockey, like baseball, has a bunch of dumb ass rules that people just make up and change on the fly and use that as an excuse to go full Chuck Norris mode on any player who dares to break them.

Yeah, a little bench taunting (if it was that) from Eller in a 7-0 game isn't a great look. But I'm just a little confused as to what constitutes "celebrating too much" or "violating the code" or "showboating" at this point.

Does literally licking your opponents' faces with your own slimy tongue classify as such? What about holding up an imaginary trophy and pretending to kiss your ring finger in front of the Canucks bench a year and a half after you beat them in the Stanley Cup Final? What about sticking a dude and then taunting that same dude right to his face seconds after you score? Spearing an opponent right in the junk as hard as you can, does that count?

Yeah, just make sure you don't celebrate a goal in front of a bench—it might be considered unsportsmanlike.