Woman Demands $500 DNA Test to Identify Which Roommate Stole Her $2 Yogurt

Apparently, a passive aggressive note on the fridge door was just not enough.

Unless you’re an only child who has been homeschooled for a decade-plus, or you grew up as minor European royalty, you’ve probably had to deal with crap roommates who don’t think twice about opening the fridge and helping themselves to your food. At best, they finish last weekend’s takeout and save you the trouble of throwing it in the trash. At worst, they pour the last of the milk over the last of the cereal, and put all the empties back on the shelves for you to find.


It blows, but we all know how to deal with it: You leave a passive-aggressive note in the kitchen and talk shit about the most likely suspect to your other roommates. But a student in Taiwan took her pettiness to an entirely new level, reporting an in-house yogurt thief to the local cops, and demanding they launch an investigation.

According to TVBS, the unnamed woman was a student at the Chinese Culture University in Taipei, and was sharing a house with five other women. Last month, she went into the kitchen and saw one of the bottles of yogurt she’d bought in the trash, empty. She pulled the bottle—which retailed for less than US $2—out of the garbage and confronted her roomates, asking the thief to confess.

When everyone basically shrugged and said, “It wasn’t me,” she took the bottle and went directly to the closest police station. She spoke to an officer, explained the situation, and demanded that they launch an investigation into this heinous crime. We’re not entirely sure what this says about the state of law enforcement in Taiwan, but the police department agreed.

After the cops realized that they couldn’t get fingerprints from the bottle, they asked the accuser and her five roommates to report to the station so that DNA samples could be collected. After doing more than $500 worth of genetic testing, the thief was ultimately identified; she is currently facing a charge of theft.

Meanwhile, local taxpayers are asking why they’ll have to pay for all of this shit—and why the cops agreed to do it in the first place. “It is a waste of social resources,” one resident told Apple Daily. “If I were the policeman, I would buy a bottle [of yogurt] to give to her. The cost of manpower and material resources is too great.” (And one unnamed cop described the entire situation as being like “using a cannon to shoot birds,” which may or may not be something that the department actually does.)

Stealing somebody else’s snacks is terrible, but while that woman was out snitching to the cops, we seriously hope that everyone else in the house chugged all of the yogurt that they could handle.