Cranking some tunes on your laptop when you're getting your freak on is as normal as can be, right? No judgment if you wanna let Richard Marx help get you off. But what if you're broadcasting your body and your music to thousands of strangers via your webcam on Chaturbate? (NSF—You know what? You can figure it out.) Well, that's a different story. As a regular visitor to this site, it's not just what's going on onscreen that helps push me over the edge. Everything serves a role in the, ahem, process—including the musical soundtrack. So, I spent a night on my favorite amateur porn purveyor to see what these fine young perverts were listening to and whether it was a help or a hindrance to my solo (off-camera) adventure. By and large…it wasn't pretty.User: Sweetandreea
Onscreen Action: Two girls, one working the other over in close-up with a big black strap-on.
On the Stereo: "Representin'" - Ludacris feat. Kelly Rowland (on repeat)
Verdict: Appropriately sexy and slow and not at all distracting. Can think of few better songs with which to soundtrack an anal violation.User: Carla Sweet Girl
Onscreen Action: The occasional flash of some very fake tits and a shaved pussy.
On the Stereo: "My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion
Verdict: Talk about a boner-killer. If her coyness wasn't enough to ruin the moment, listening to the caterwauling of the world's most popular French-Canadian certainly destroyed all intent to rub one out.User: Xxxsweetlove
Onscreen Action: Desultory looks at the camera with breasts exposed, but little else.
On the Stereo: "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem, followed by "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" - Death Cab For Cutie
Verdict: I was ready to wait this one out and see where it would lead until a sad-sack indie boy start simpering out his lament about the death of a loved one. Thanks a ton, Gibbard.User: Halinasky
Onscreen Action: Petite blonde spread-eagle with black plug up her ass and teasing her vag with a thin vibrator.
On the Stereo: "Save The World" - Swedish House Mafia, followed by a house mix
Verdict: The track following the SHM one had some ridiculous baritone dude yapping over the top about aliens or some shit. An absolute distraction from the task at hand. But, like a professional, I took a deep breath and forged on.User: Blakelybron
Onscreen Action: Chubby brunette rubs her clit raw.
On the Stereo: "Young Folks" - Peter, Bjorn & John
Verdict: The least sexy pop song of the last 10 years, hands down. And what else is down? My erection. Moving on.User: Wildfoxx
Onscreen Action: A disturbingly hot transsexual flops around the bed, posing and showing off her long tongue.
On the Stereo: "Touch It" by Monifah feat. Jack Knight
Verdict: Thank Christ for the sexy tunes, because otherwise, the surreality of this would be too much to bear. It's not the addition of a small cock onto her incredibly voluptuous body, but rather, the tiger mask that she insists on wearing as she shows off her wares.User: juicyjessieandjoey
Onscreen Action: A man with an old-timey moustache paints the toenails of his brunette partner, who couldn't look more bored by what's going on.
On the Stereo: "My Last Mistake" - Dan Auerbach
Verdict: Foot fetishes are a mystery to me. No matter how petite or cute they may be…I can't fathom that as a turn on. Add in a half-baked boogie pop tune and I had to jump out of this room before my cock relapsed inside my body.
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Onscreen Action: Two girls, one working the other over in close-up with a big black strap-on.
On the Stereo: "Representin'" - Ludacris feat. Kelly Rowland (on repeat)
Verdict: Appropriately sexy and slow and not at all distracting. Can think of few better songs with which to soundtrack an anal violation.User: Carla Sweet Girl
Onscreen Action: The occasional flash of some very fake tits and a shaved pussy.
On the Stereo: "My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion
Verdict: Talk about a boner-killer. If her coyness wasn't enough to ruin the moment, listening to the caterwauling of the world's most popular French-Canadian certainly destroyed all intent to rub one out.User: Xxxsweetlove
Onscreen Action: Desultory looks at the camera with breasts exposed, but little else.
On the Stereo: "Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem, followed by "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" - Death Cab For Cutie
Verdict: I was ready to wait this one out and see where it would lead until a sad-sack indie boy start simpering out his lament about the death of a loved one. Thanks a ton, Gibbard.User: Halinasky
Onscreen Action: Petite blonde spread-eagle with black plug up her ass and teasing her vag with a thin vibrator.
On the Stereo: "Save The World" - Swedish House Mafia, followed by a house mix
Verdict: The track following the SHM one had some ridiculous baritone dude yapping over the top about aliens or some shit. An absolute distraction from the task at hand. But, like a professional, I took a deep breath and forged on.User: Blakelybron
Onscreen Action: Chubby brunette rubs her clit raw.
On the Stereo: "Young Folks" - Peter, Bjorn & John
Verdict: The least sexy pop song of the last 10 years, hands down. And what else is down? My erection. Moving on.User: Wildfoxx
Onscreen Action: A disturbingly hot transsexual flops around the bed, posing and showing off her long tongue.
On the Stereo: "Touch It" by Monifah feat. Jack Knight
Verdict: Thank Christ for the sexy tunes, because otherwise, the surreality of this would be too much to bear. It's not the addition of a small cock onto her incredibly voluptuous body, but rather, the tiger mask that she insists on wearing as she shows off her wares.User: juicyjessieandjoey
Onscreen Action: A man with an old-timey moustache paints the toenails of his brunette partner, who couldn't look more bored by what's going on.
On the Stereo: "My Last Mistake" - Dan Auerbach
Verdict: Foot fetishes are a mystery to me. No matter how petite or cute they may be…I can't fathom that as a turn on. Add in a half-baked boogie pop tune and I had to jump out of this room before my cock relapsed inside my body.