Whatup 2016? I’m going to be busy these next few weeks correcting all my shit after still writing 2015. You know how that goes. Okay, enough small talk because it’s a holiday weekend and I’m still hungover from Moscow Mules because I’m fancy. Anyway, here’s what your favorite (and not favorite) musicians had to say on Insta this week.
Wait, hold the fucking phone. Josh Groban and Kat Dennings are still together? I love this news so much. Sorry to be talking to you all like you’re the lady doing my nails and shit, but this is pleasant news I wanted to share with a trusted friend.
Happy fancy new year my lovelies
A photo posted by Josh Groban (@joshgroban) on Jan 1, 2016 at 1:47am PST
Wait so the Weeknd told Fab THAT was the best jacket he’s seen all night? Hmmm.
A photo posted by Fabolous (@myfabolouslife) on Jan 1, 2016 at 6:27pm PST
I toasted with the same “water,” Alessia. I love her for trying to be a role model still despite having a glass full of suds.
thank u for a beautiful year. 2016 is gonna rock our socks. ps this is water
A photo posted by ALESSIA CARA (@alessiasmusic) on Dec 31, 2015 at 9:08pm PST
Yeah this 2015 flashback of Malia Obama rocking a Pro Era t-shirt made me realize we will never have a cooler family in the White House ever again. Le sigh.
Highlight of my 2015. Thank you Malia Obama for your support. #PROERA
A photo posted by Official Joey Bada$$ [iG] Page (@jozifbadmon) on Dec 31, 2015 at 9:41am PST
Ugh sometimes Justin Bieber can be so fucking adorable, even when he’s violating every Labor Day rule ever made by wearing all white.
A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Dec 30, 2015 at 4:05pm PST
Big Boi has a championship belt and your belt is from Target and barely holds up your pants.
Stank you to the @danandstugotz , @worldwide_o and my Folks at ESPN for my new Belt
A photo posted by Big Boi (@therealbigboi) on Jan 1, 2016 at 4:00pm PST
Okay Britney Spears looks fucking terrifying here. Still a fan though.
A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on Jan 1, 2016 at 4:40pm PST
So 2 Chainz gets to go from Dabbin’ Santa sweaters to this CEO,000,000 thing? Does this mean no more music? Asking with a combination of delight and disappointment. Also, I need one of these hoodies.
A photo posted by 2 Chainz Aka Tity Boi (@hairweavekiller) on Jan 1, 2016 at 6:17pm PST
BIRDMAN AND DRAKE AND MACK MAINE AND WEEZY ARE ALL TOGETHER AND THE TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. Okay, sorry. I’ll stop yelling now.
A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Dec 31, 2015 at 11:36pm PST
Per Wikipedia: “Trypophobia is a claimed pathological fear of holes, particularly irregular patterns of holes.” So I guess I have that because I hid under my table when I saw this photo.
Fuck yeah 2016! Soooo close I can c it!
A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on Dec 30, 2015 at 12:29pm PST
Leave it to Keef to take New Year’s to the next level. Weed horns? What a scary, scary legend he is.
"48 grams light 8 ounces in the Sprite" Ps. This doesn't count! PG-13
A photo posted by Chief Keef (@chieffkeeffsossa) on Jan 1, 2016 at 5:11am PST
Khaled had the best year ever, hands down. I mean, who else could turn his Snapchat rants into slogans on chancletas?
A photo posted by DJ KHALED (@djkhaled) on Jan 1, 2016 at 3:29pm PST
Diplo is usually the embodiment of an unwarranted dick pic sent over text at 3 AM, but this is pretty humble and adorable. Madge is the embodiment of a “new phone, who dis” text though, so it makes perfect sense.
A photo posted by diplo (@diplo) on Dec 30, 2015 at 10:27am PST
This photo looks like Lana took it sitting outside of Sbarro’s at the mall. That’s a compliment by the way.
A photo posted by Lana Del Rey (@lanadelrey) on Dec 31, 2015 at 11:33am PST
There’s something charming about Tyler, the Creator taking a bathroom selfie in a Varsity jacket and requesting guys to clean their dicks. He’s like the coach of some self-deprecating-slash-awesome #sports team.
be safe tonight dont do anything stupid clean ya dick
A photo posted by Tylers Auntie (@feliciathegoat) on Dec 31, 2015 at 7:02pm PST
Kathy Iandoli’s New Year’s resolution is still unresolved. Follow her on Twitter/Instagram.
