— Liam Scott (@liamscott1997) July 20, 2015
We're well into July now, which means we're well into "Lads Holiday" season - a glorious time of year where "all the boys" get together for a week in some hot resort to drink dirty pints from poolside recliners, eat fry ups in Only Fools and Horses themed restaurants, buy novelty towels, vomit on banana boats and, apparently, get Skepta tattoos.
A few hours ago, a guy called Liam Scott sent the above tweet careering into the universe. Just to clarify, yes, that is "SKEPTA" tattooed in all-caps on his pelvic bone, yes, he is wearing multiple festival wristbands, and nah, Lauren wasn't having it. He also uploaded a video "for all the doubters" questioning the legitimacy of the ink that made his girlfriend go from "I love you xxx" to "I don't even want to be with you anymore so fuck off" in a short space of time.
It's worth noting that the tweet directly before was a 16 second video of him scooping some sick out of a toilet with a saucepan. A truly harrowing insight into the lives of your average young white UK Grime fan. And, weirdly, he's not alone either. This totally unrelated guy also got a Skepta tattoo, also in Magaluf.
— Gout (@JoshyBowerman) June 28, 2015
What the hell is going on here? Skepta may be an inspiration and a motivation to achieving all your dreams, but are those dreams supposed to result in a break-up via text? Is there one roadman tattoo artist parked down a back alley in #Maga armed only with a flash sheet of the names of BBK artists and lyrics? Are all the world's wasteman self-branding en mass? Has Skepta become a party god for the Dapper Laughs generation? I don't like.
In other news, JME - Skepta's brother in grime and by blood - recently made a mixtape for Noisey in less than 48 hours. Listen to that here and watch the accompanying short documentary, in which JME rides around Finsbury Park on a segway looking for ghosts among other things.
**UPDATE: Skepta has weighed in with some real talk about relationships:
@liamscott1997 At least you now know Lauren's love weren't real, how can she finish it over a tattoo? Smh. Plenty more fish in the sea bro.
— SKEPTA (@Skepta) July 21, 2015
Follow Emma on Twitter.