Move over Chet Haze, because Gabe Day has come into our lives like a light beamed directly from Planet Douche to claim his rightful place as the most horrifying rapping-son-of-an-Oscar-Winning-Actor we've discovered this year. Above is his newest video for the song "Green Auras," shot on location at Gabe Day's very own Sarah Lawrence College, where he attends and according to this video, smokes mountains of weed. This video is filled with other white kids who are (presumably?) Gabe Day's friends, and they're split evenly between streetwear-clad white dudes looking reverently at the almighty Gabe Day, and then liberal arts kids who are clearly just there for the free weed and can barely keep from laughing their asses off.
The crux of this song is more or less that Gabe Day is here to kick some old-school knowledge of self straight into your ear, starting with the fact that it's totally unchill to judge people for having famous parents. He raps, "Judgin' someone for their dad is just as bad as being racist," moments after he asserts, "Call me Gabe Day and not Gabe Day-Lewis, because if you're trying to call me out I'm 'bout to Gabe Day-Lose-It!" While it's not fair to blow up a college kid's spot, we at Noisey feel no absolutely no remorse about making fun of Gabe Day-Lose-It, because complaining about how your dad won an Oscar for Lincoln has made your life harder is the most privileged form of mental anguish possible, and if Gabe Day doesn't understand that then he is doomed to be hated by everyone forever.
Other annoying things about this video: Gabe Day's YSL snapback, the couplet "I did too many drugs / felt like copin' on my own when all I needed was a hug," the fact that the twitter (@GABE_DL) the end of the video points to isn't live, this behind-the-scenes video where he says, "Fuck, man, nothing beats real lyrical J. Cole," the X Gabe Day has tatted on his hand, the skull mask he wears, his wooden Africa pendant, and pretty much everything else about "Green Auras." He makes me miss Tom Hanks' son Chet Haze, because at least that dude was kind of fun, in the stupidest way possible.
And now, here is a video of Gabe Day rap battling at his fancy private school, using both homophobic slurs and an Irish accent.
Update: Someone—not Gabe Day himself, sadly—has taken it upon themselves to claim Gabe Day's heretofore-vacant Twitter handle, and is now tweeting ridiculous things.
Drew Millard weeps for the children. He's on Twitter - @drewmillard