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Minor Threat's Facebook Page Is Full Of Soft Porn

Is it a social experiment? Or does Ian MacKaye just really love butts?
Emma Garland
London, GB

Minor Threat were together for a grand total of three years total and they haven't been a band since 1983, but the influence they had on hardcore music both stylistically, and in terms of ethical practice, is phenomenal. The "straight edge" thing may not have stuck (because boring), but Minor Threat remain as one of the few still-relevant landmarks in punk history. Now, social media may not have existed in the 80s, and if it had the only engagement Minor Threat would have had with it is in interviews where Ian MacKaye would be asked if he thinks it's a drug - to which he would have replied "fuck off".


But now everything in the world has a Facebook page, and so the Minor Threat band page is a thing that exists, with 140,000 fans. Whether the band are even aware it exists is up for debate, but whoever is running it is absolutely shit at their job because it's been stacked with porn since October and nobody has noticed.

Scrolling down their timeline you'll find classic punk blog paraphernalia: a fan with a sheep tattooed on their calf, #tbt hardcore photography, poster artwork, black and white photos of Henry Rollins looking pensive accompanied by an uplifting emoji - all sandwiched between clickbait links about women, their asses, and how amazing their asses are. You know the kind: horribly exploitative but not quite NSFW enough to be taken down for being offensive, custom-made to sit on torrent sites to pique the interest of sad horny men all over the world surfing the web with their dicks in their hands; headlines that feature at least one of the following words: amateur, Russian, HOLY…

So, has Minor Threat's Facebook page been compromised? Did the person running it enter a search term "banned minors" and autocorrect here instead? Is it a social experiment? Or does Ian MacKaye just really love butts? Let's take a look at the evidence.

But those shorts though! There are loads more. Like, about 10 posts a day since mid-October more. But why? At the very least this proves that old bands are to the internet what pensioners are to road safety. Maybe Minor Threat have no idea this is happening. Maybe they're Out Of Step with the digital age. The whole thing has left me Stumped. In My Eyes? More like OUT OF MY EYES. AMIRIGHT?

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