New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski caught a 36-yard touchdown pass from Tom Brady yesterday in the Pats 27-16 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers, giving him 68 career touchdowns. He is now one touchdown away from 69 touchdowns for his career and he’s very excited about it; it is probably his favorite number.

I worry about Gronk when he finally does get number 69, though. I fear something awful may happen to him. No person on the face of this earth is more predestined to finish an NFL career with 69 total touchdowns than Rob Gronkowski, enormous, walking erogenous zone. Hopefully he does not tempt fate and just simply retires on the spot after spiking that football for the 69th time.