On the occasion of the release of epicurious emcee Action Bronson's Rare Chandeliers tape with Alchemist, here's ten great food moments in rap history:
"Real G's move in silence like lasagna"
Lil Wayne - "6 Foot 7 Foot"
Maybe the cleverest line to make mainstream rap radio since Cassidy sold Raid to a bug on "I'm A Hustler" but still pretty stupid. But, y'know, awesomely stupid.
"In a six but it's a BM and it's Pepsi Blue"
Jadakiss - "Time's Up"
One of those great lines that dates itself. Side note: everyone in The Lox raps their ass off but Jada's secret weapon is that he knows a lot of obscure terms for boring colors. I don't know if he's ever pulled up in an ecru whip, but if anyone would it would be him. He's like a tasteful Young Dro.
The Cooking Dance
Lil B, circa 2010
Let's not forget, Diddy made an imaginary omelet on stage at SXSW with the Pretty Bitch himself last year. If you're really advanced, you get to farm. Let that boy cook!
"We eat so many shrimp I got iodine poisoning"
Pimp C - Three 6 Mafia's "Sippin On Some Syrup"
Yo picture Pimp and Bun laid up in a hotel room high fiving each other as they take turns in the bathroom. They ball so hard they got the shits. The illest case of self-inflicted seafood illness ever (hat tip to when Stormy ate the Shrabster though).
Kanye West makes pasta on Chapelle's Show
Common - "The Food"
While Common performed "The Food" in a kitchen, Kanye made pasta while wearing a Louis Vuitton backpack (This was back when Kanye was still a refreshingly honest weirdo.)
"I get head, I bust nuts and eat steak"
Rick Ross - "Blow"
Long before he was rhapsodizing about lobster tails over Mahavishnu Orchestra album cuts, Rozay was on some more focused hedonism. Like dude is just lying in bed butt naked getting neck while sawing away at a butterfly-cut filet.
"… poured a glass of 7-Up and ate a quick snack, Salami and swiss, piled on a Ritz crack"
Mac Dre - "Something You Should Know"
Something about Mac Dre eating a light snack cracks me up. So arbitrary! "Where's your plate? Where's your lobster? Where's your sea bass?"
Gunplay - Maybach Music Group's "Power Circle"
Don Logan knows you do not have a seat at the Round Table and thus will not be dining with him in the circle of power. Don Logan may not know that "Chilean Sea Bass" is a friendlier name for the Patagonian Toothfish, which is way too scary for haute cuisine (But it's not actually a bass fish.)
"Somebody bring the potato salad"
DJ Quik - "Pitch In On A Party"
The second verse of this summer time party anthem is when the cops show up, nobody invited any girls and Quik has to hide all his liquor so nobody steals it. But at least there's potato salad.
"Born sinner/Opposite of a winner/Remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner"
Notorious B.I.G. - "Juicy"
I actually ride for sardines and other types of small, bite-sized fish. They're cheap and surprisingly nutritious--lots of protein, low in carbs.