We’ve all been there: you rock up to the beach and you’ve left your swimmers at home. In that moment, you have two options: jump into the water in your undies, or sit on the beach and watch your mates have the time of their lives, while you get a sock tan. Two options doesn’t give you all much choice, and, as they say, variety is the spice of life. We want your life to be as spicy as possible so we’ve compiled a tonne of alternative ideas. Who needs togs anyway?

Apron

Granted, this one will only work if you’ve packed for a BBQ, which is actually pretty likely in an Australian summer. The beach and the barbeque are a 40-degree day’s Romeo and Juliet: soulmates. After you’ve cooked up those sausages, keep your apron on and splash away.

Bravado

Be bold, baby! Bravado isn’t technically an item of clothing, but it is the attitude you’ll be rocking as you roll through the beach in your birthday suit. Go you good thing.

Clothes

This is the simplest solution, no? Just jump in the water with a nothing but a white tee on. If you carry yourself like a Bond girl, it won’t even look like this was a fallback move: play it off like this was the exact look you had planned.

Dack Your Mates

This isn’t exactly a direct solution for your wardrobe issue, but if you’re going to be forced to head into the surf with nothing but a smile on, your friends should to. Dack them, and say it’s for solidarity’s sake.

Emergency Swimmers

What do you mean this “isn’t a thing”? What do you mean “nobody has this”? Since you’re reading this list, it looks like you should probably be thanking me for the tip. Store these with your spare tire, so you’re never caught out.

Floaties

Sure, these might not cover your X-Rated bits, but at least you’ll be wearing something in the water.

Gemstones

Think of the Instagram love you’d get for this: cover your nips (and whatever else you’ve got) with a pack––or twenty––of stick-on rhinestones. I’m know this method is neither time efficient nor water resistant, but come on. Do it for the aesthetics.

Hosiery

If going into the water in the nude is a little too bold for you, but hopping in with your undies on feels a little too low brow, try this high(er) fashion alternative: tights. For a conservative look, try 50 denier tights. To make a statement, a sheerer 20 denier will work well.

Ice-Cream

Get whatever body part you want covered in contact with an ice-cream sandwich. Your modesty will be preserved, at least until you get into the water.

Just (Turn Into a Fish)

While this isn’t the most feasible suggestion on the list, it is the most scientifically exciting. Let me know if you ever pull it off. I’ll alert the Nobel Committee.

Knickers

A classic. Needs no explanation.

Lemons and Limes

Get some watermelons, bananas and grapes in there too. You’re a sexy fruitbowl! While reclining on the beach, arrange a variety of fresh produce around yourself to obscure anything that isn’t family friendly. In no time at all, you’ll become a beachside Aphrodite.

Mumu

This is a great way to tell the world King-Size Homer is your favourite Simpsons episode. People will be so impressed by your pop-culture savvy they won’t even consider that you’re only doing it because you forgot your swimmers.

Nipple Pasties

This concept is actually quite fashion forward. If you want to be bold, I’d run with tassels. For a more seasonally appropriate look, try palm trees.

Overalls

These are probably what you wore to the beach anyway, so there’s no reason you couldn’t just rock ’em in the water.

Police Tape

We’ve jacked this one from Lady Gaga’s ‘Telephone’, sure, but it’s a look that doesn’t get played out enough in the real world. Roll the tape around yourself like you’re strapping on a seatbelt.

Quilt

Roll yourself up in this bad boy right up to the moment you hit the water, then lose it ’cause chances are it’ll weigh you down a little too much. Down isn’t too fluffy when it’s soaking wet, and you’re too young to get lost at sea. We need you. You’re gonna do great thing.

Raft

Project Runway alert! Try cutting up this plastic device and constructing a trendy swimsuit for yourself out of the scraps, using fishing wire as thread. Go on, make it work.

Seaweed

You mermaid, you. Just drape this slimy stuff over the most R18+ parts of your body. But leave a little sideboob: we can keep things M15.

Towel

If you forgot your swimmers, chances are you forgot this one too, but that’s where your better-prepared mates come in. After all, friends are just there to sacrifice themselves to help fix your mistakes. (I have no friends. Help me.)

Undies

What do you mean I already said knickers? Rack off mum.

Vines

Adam and Eve might have messed up a few things (never accept food from snakes, guys) but their look was fuego. The vines and ivy leaves were essentially the original swimmer anyway. Iconic.

Water

Swimming, or as I call it, wearing the water. With this mindset, you’ll never feel naked while skinny dipping ever again: you’re wearing the world’s biggest, wettest coat.

X’s

I really do mean that you should wear literal X’s. Grab some duct tape, and strap your nipples down in a neat criss-cross. It’s a strong look. You’ll feel like a goddamn rockstar, until you have to rip the tape off.

Yamaka

Stay sunsmart when you’re in the water. You might have forgotten your swimmers, but that doesn’t mean you can forget about the sun. This way, the top of your head won’t get burnt, and you won’t run the risk of running into somebody at the pool in the same outfit.

Zero

Zilch, nada, nothing. Just suck it up and pay the naked price for your forgetfulness. I don’t wanna pick favourites, but this really is the best and boldest option of the bunch.

This article is presented in partnership with Captain Morgan.