doesn’t
Holiday Turkish Coffee Gift Basket
Sema Bal is a Turkish coffee messenger—it’s like reading tea leaves, but more caffeinated. For a couple hundred bucks, she’ll spend an hour predicting your future based on the leftover sludge in your mug, plus she’ll throw in a set of teacups, her book, and her speciality blend Turkish coffee… everything you need to practice at home after your reading. ($200)
Videos by VICE
PicoBrew Pico
The Keurig of beers—yep, we all knew this was coming. You can order “PicoPaks” from breweries all over the world, pop one in the machine, and, within a week, you’ve got a nice little keg of craft beer. ($800)
Taxidermied Squirrel Booze
Nothing says “I appreciate you” like a taxidermied squirrel stuffed with a bottle of beer. Except for a $20k taxidermied squirrel stuffed with a 55 percent ABV bottle of beer. ($20,000)
Plum
This super-sleek wine cooler will preserve nice bottles of wine even after you open them, so you can chip away at that expensive Chardonnay glass-by-glass. Plum can also read the label on any bottle and bring it to the exact serving temperature that the winemakers intended. ($1,500)
Single-Malt Auchentoshan Scotch from 1966
This 44-year-old bottle of Scotch costs over $4k. Does it taste more expensive than a $200 bottle? There’s only one way to find out. ($4,000)
Pantry Cheese Grotto
Apparently, shoving a bunch of Ziploc bags full of cheese into your vegetable crisper is a no-go. If you want to do your cheese justice, you can keep a tiny cheese grotto (created by Jessica Sennett of Cowgirl Creamery and Bedford Cheese Shop) in your kitchen—a soaked clay slab keeps the box at a cave-like moisture level. ($350)
Korin Nenox Red Bone Handle Yo-Deba
Besides being gorgeous, this bad boy is seriously strong—ideal for butchering through bones and frozen-solid food. ($650)
Korin Inox Black Handle Yo-Deba
For something a little less heavy-duty, Korin’s Special Inox knife does the trick—it cuts and feels like a carbon steel knife, but without the maintainence. ($278)
Défoncé Weed Chocolate
Défoncé is French for “stoned,” which is what you’ll be after a piece of this beautifully designed, cannabis-infused chocolate. The cocoa and the cannabis both “exhibit terroir”—perfect for the dessert and/or weed snob in your life. *Only available in states where weed is legalized. ($20)
Editor’s Note: VICE may earn a small share of sales from links in this article.