Women Share What They Think About When Waiting for Their Partners to Orgasm

This third type of sex-thought is most common when you've already gotten off and are just out here waiting for the other person to hurry up so you can eat some nachos. Whether we're distracted, or just fading out a post-orgasm stupor until this sweaty body rolls off us, sometimes the mind wanders to strange places. To, say, our cats, or a terrific prank, or what it would be like if a clone version of ourselves could walk in and finish the job. When we asked Dr. Denise Renye, a sexologist and psychologist, if such intrusive thoughts are normal, she said: "Definitely. But I'd be hard pressed to say anything isn't normal regarding what comes up during sex."

Hear, hear. To learn more (and for shits and giggles), we asked women of various orientations where their minds go when they're simply over it.

There are some times when I'm not into sex and I just start looking around for my cat and wonder what he thinks is going on. Does he know what sex is? Why does he always feel the need to blankly stare at us while we're fucking? Is he responding to the smell, or the pheromones, or this sort of innate sexual instinct that we awaken in him? That totally kills everything.

There are other times when I lose interest, or concentration, during sex, and I turn it into this weird competition with myself. Like, "How fast can I make this person cum?" It turns the entire experience into this weirdly satisfying activity where I get to have this sexual power over someone else. I make it about this internal competition about my sexual prowess and technical abilities at giving blowjobs, or eating someone out, and focusing entirely on giving. And that usually works to turn me back on. —Marie

You mentioned cats, and I always find it strange for people to have animals in the bedroom with them. Even when I masturbate, I put my animals out of the room, because I feel like they know what I'm doing, and I get shy. As for your question [about what I think about when I'm not into sex but my partner is still going], if I'm the one being penetrated, often I think about food, because my stomach rumbles a lot when I'm being penetrated or when someone is going down on me. So then I think about dinner. Or lunch. —Candace

Honestly, I always think about what I want to eat once it's over. —Sable

In these unfortunate but unavoidable situations, my mind leaps to its greatest impulses: jokes and irrational fears.

Wouldn't it be funny if I started singing "Everything's Coming Up Roses" in my best Liza Minnelli?

What if I suddenly lose control of my bowels and literally shit the bed?

I should congratulate him for taking my virginity. It FINALLY happened!

Is it too soon to suggest we try a butt plug… on him?

The best way to kill boredom is to stoke discomfort, after all. I also try to figure out what my "number" is becoming while he's still inside of me. —Madison

I don't know if it's so much that my partner isn't sweeping me off my feet or that I've never had great sex (I have), but I feel hyper-productive and it's hard for me to justify sex as such [lately]. Most often, when I'm losing concentration or drifting off, I just think about all the shit I have to do: make deadline, get edits back, pay a bill, give my cat flea meds, make that thing for that other thing, etc. But sometimes I get tripped up on mortality and life as a fleeting thing and so on, and that's all pretty bad also. Way too often, I think about whether or not I even like or care about this person I'm fucking. Whoops. —Beca Grimm

I destroyed like ten levels of Angry Birds one evening during phone sex. Just giving little moans here and there and saying key phrases I knew he would be into, like, "You're so big," "I'm so wet and ready for your cock," and "I love the way your cock fills me up." Hearing someone's voice and being told dirty things is a big turn-on for me, so I usually get off pretty quickly during phone sex—then get bored immediately after. But I'm still going to help my partner out! —Matilda

My partner was an American woman six years older than me, and I thought about world domination, which starts by becoming president of the most powerful country on Earth. (She seemed really into the sex; she did not notice.) We were in a hotel in Kentucky. I've also thought about how I wish a clone of myself could walk into the room that moment to finish what I started because I was getting tired. I wondered if I wanted to actually see the clone; then I decided, no, because I am self-conscious about any potential flab I might see. Then there's when I have thought about multiverse theory and wondered what I'm doing at that exact moment in other universes. I have also contemplated how I could write a book similar to 50 Shades of Grey but better (which would not be difficult), and market it well so I could become a millionaire. —Emily