Sports

Hassan Whiteside Visits the Louvre, Trolls Mona Lisa About Triple Doubles

"Mona Lisa, who doing it with blocks? Exactly. I thought so."
June 25, 2017, 7:32pm

Hassan Whiteside, you stone-cold genius. It's the offseason and the Miami Heat center showed up to the Louvre and decided to give us a tour of the immense Parisian museum by trolling the fuck out of some classic works of art.

While most stiff-ass art buffs would clamor over historical context and retroactively label the various movements, etc., Whiteside knows full well that art is a living artifact. It's not just something to be dusted and coo'ed over. You've got to engage it.

Advertisement

So that's why Whiteside got to asking Mona Lisa who the real deal is when it comes to triple doubles:

Mona Lisa, with that coy come-not-so-hither smile seems like she's used to blocking a fair bit. So she knows you can also rack up that trip-dub by slapping away fools' pitiful attempts. Also, I'm not sure if you've ever seen the Mona Lisa in person, but it is hard AF to get up close to it. There are an insane number of people crowded in around—needless to say, Whiteside was aggressive in the paint.

But check out the full highlight reel, assembled by SB Nation, who is apparently better at compiling Snapchat videos than I am:

Some of the highlights include: Hassan calling out a statue kid for choking out a goose, calling Napoleon III's wife "thicker than a bowl of grits," complimenting Napoleon III's DM sliding techniques, telling an armless Athena that she can't feel him, speculating on Nike of Samothrace's elevation (ironically, Whiteside is sponsored by the other Nike), and asking rando museum goers if they too think Diana the Huntress was taking down Bambi.

It seems like Hassan is doing good things with his vacation.

Nobody's hating; nobody's telling lies, Hassan. Everyone's just wondering when you'll nab that PhD in art history.

[Obvious h/t to SB Nation]