We Asked Flat Earthers What the Dumbest Conspiracy Is

“I don't think any conspiracy theory is stupid.”
Mack Lamoureux
Toronto, CA
August 10, 2018, 2:34pm
All images courtesy of author. 

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

Flat earthers can get a bad rap as the cliché conspiracy theorists. They’re the reference point, the watermark of believing stuff that is, to be polite, a little out there.

They’re an easy target and they know it. This weekend at the first ever International Flat Earth Conference in Edmonton, Alberta, the topic of how people viewed flat earthers was spoken about frequently. It’s a sore spot for the group.


So, after hearing how fed up they were at having their ideas shat on all the time, VICE decided to give the flat earthers some time to speak about conspiracies they think are stupid. Here is what we heard:

Jessica Mason

“The silliest conspiracy I've heard is that no one has ever climbed Mount Everest. There is some validity in the sense that I think a lot of people have faked it—like, a lot of rich people want to go and they don't make it up but they don't want to tell their friends that. So they make these fake videos of them at the top. But just because there are fake videos of people that didn't make it doesn't mean that no one ever made it to the top of Mount Everest.

If they're going to lie about the shape of the earth, which I do believe, I do entertain these ideas and look into them. But this time, I'm sorry, there are too many people that have done it.

There is another one saying that Greenland doesn't exist. Again, I do consider it but I talked to my friend from northern Newfoundland who said 'Oh, yeah, my dad was a fisherman off the coast of Greenland.' These people aren't liars and I looked into it a little bit and I just can't quite grasp that one.”

Johnny Wayne

“Nowadays, you can't be close-minded about anything. I mean there is some stuff that I think is controlled. There is the Flat Earth Society that is a total psy-op, none of us really subscribe to that kind of stuff. I can't say off hand if there is anything I think is completely stupid. There are all kind of weird theories I haven't looked into like hollow earth, convex earth—just stuff I don't look into. I think there could be a hole in the center of the Earth. In the north pole, no one can go there freely so how are we going to know it, right?

I think there is a lot to look into. Like aliens, I don't think they are anything like they say they are. I don't believe that they are aliens from outer space, I believe they're from other parts of earth or interdimensional beings. At the end of the day though, I can't say that anything I mentioned is specifically dumb because I don't want to come off as judgmental.“

Cami Knodel

“I think the reptilian conspiracies and the shifters and everything in that realm is stupid. They do a lot of conspiracies with the RH- bloodlines, it's just a blood-type, it means your body just produces a certain antibody. But people say that royalty has this bloodline and that means they're lizards or whatever. If the royalty does have this bloodline and keeps it in by intermarriage that's fine, but they're less than one percent of the people that would have it.

The conspiracies I think are really bad are the ones that come from elitism and say that one group is better than another, so that's what I think is really stupid. Another thing that gets me are transvestigations, conspiracies about people's gender, like Justin Bieber being a girl and Miley Cyrus being a guy. It’s just so stupid."

Mickey Bromley

“A major conspiracy that just came out, about two years ago, is called the Mandela Effect. This got a lot of people kind of going on about it. The Mandela Effect is essentially the idea that some people remembering that he died when he was in prison and, well, he didn't. So it almost seems like there is this false memory going around the world for various topics. One famous one is Berenstein or the Berenstain Bears or in Star Wars with Vader telling Luke he's his father—it's all just because we're passing on information orally or telling things wrong.

That's one conspiracy that's a little out there because once you start picking at the fabric of reality saying' you can't trust anything or nothing is reliable, they can change the past' that stuff can really make somebody turn what I would call crazy.“

“I don't think any conspiracy theory is stupid. I don't think anything would be a conspiracy theory if there wasn't a little bit of truth to it. I've never investigated any that I've come to a conclusion that they were 100 percent true or 100 percent false—there is always a little gray area everywhere.

I think the statement in the movie Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts and he says ‘it's not that they were paranoid, it's that we're not paranoid enough.’ That's my belief, whatever bad we think the government is doing it's probably ten times worse.”

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