Last weekend, news broke that Supreme Court Justice and longstanding bastion of progressive thought Ruth Bader Ginsberg is set to appear in The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part, which is somehow actually happening. And now, Skittles has followed that up with one more example of how our increasingly unintelligible world has turned into a jumbled, meaningless Madlib of cultural detritus: Michael C. Hall is set to star in a branded Broadway show made by the candy company, for some reason.
Yes, it's true: The star of stage and screen will appear at the Town Hall Theater in Times Square in a 30-minute performance about candy or whatever. The strange stunt will take place on Super Bowl Sunday, but won't be broadcast during the game itself. You'll have to buy tickets if you want to watch this Super Bowl ad—and they aren't cheap, either. According to Deadline, seats to the Skittles musical will cost anywhere from $30 to just over $200.
Hall, of Dexter and Six Feet Under fame, has starred on Broadway before, in both the Bowie musical Lazarus and Cabaret, though as far as we can tell, this is his first foray into branded sugar theater.
Skittles released a very meta trailer to announce the whole thing, featuring Hall complaining about the Broadway performance to his therapist. "You have to buy a ticket? To see an ad?" the therapist asks.
"Yeah, it's a real Broadway show!" Hall says, but, like the rest of humanity, the therapist is far from convinced.
Then a Scarecrow shows up as "the living manifestation of [Hall's] anxieties," and eventually the walls of the office fall down to reveal that they're onstage in front of a rapturous audience. What does any of it mean? Don't even try. Just let it wash over you.
Does the world need a Skittles Broadway show, you ask? Of course not, but so what? Who needs anything? Get ready to crack open those wallets and shell out some hard-earned cash on tickets to an advertisement for fruit-flavored treats, because nothing matters anymore. This is the world we have chosen for ourselves, so taste the fucking rainbow, everybody!
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.