Imagine this for a moment: You've just stepped onto the set of a reality television show, the one place in this world where true love might still exist. You've been waiting for this chance for as long as you can remember, and you can't believe you're one of 20 contestants to be chosen. This has to be the most pivotal chapter of your entire life. It's here, at long last: a televised competition in which you fight for the adoration of Jersey Shore's DJ Pauly D or Vinny Guadagnino.
If any of that sounds remotely appealing (details, unfortunately, are scant at this point), today is your lucky day: According to Deadline, MTV has just green-lit Double Shot at Love—an offshoot of 2008's single-season A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, if anybody remembers who she is. In the words of MTV.com, this will surely be "a reality-dating show unlike any other." (It sounds an awful lot like The Bachelor, but best not to think about things too hard.) The premise, as Deadline reports, is currently a vague yet simple one: You, the 20 eligible ladies, "will face off against one another hoping to avoid the elimination ceremony, while the boys must compete for the affection of the contestants as well." Oh, the obstacles that await you!
So who will you choose? Whose heart will you fight to win? Whose Jersey Shore clips will you go back and watch before making your appearance? Pick wisely.
On one hand, there's Pauly. He's kind and funny and has multiple stickers of his face stuck on his laptop. And do you like catch phrases? Do you enjoy a good prank? What about lavish cars or heavy gold chains or somebody whose hair routine has a good chance of frequently shorting your house's electrical circuit? You certainly won't have to purchase a blow dryer. Actually, money in general probably won't be an issue. You just have to reside in Vegas.
Perhaps, though, you'd prefer Vinny. I wouldn't necessarily blame you. If you've ever wanted to live around the corner from your mother-in-law or rarely leave Staten Island, there's probably no better catch. Throw into the mix the rest of a large, very involved family—which includes a creepy uncle named Nino known for his propensity to flirt—and it's hard to picture doing much better. What's more appealing in a man than the fact that his mom does his laundry? Maybe, in time, heaven will shine down on you even more, and you'll be able to replace her: doing his dishes, folding his clothes, telling him his haircut looks totally fine. A dream come true? (And don't worry, yes: He is on a very strict and annoying diet.)
It's too early to say how this will pan out—not just for everyone on the show, but for, well, the show itself. This isn't Jersey Shore's first stab at a spinoff. After SallyAnn Salsano and her 495 Productions created Jersey Shore (which she rebooted this past year), they made Snooki & JWoww, which for four seasons followed around the two cast members and best friends as they got married, had children, and complained about stuff, as well as the short-lived Pauly D Project, which had the famous DJ traveling around the country and getting into hijinks with his entourage, many of them his old friends from Rhode Island.
Other questions remain as well. Will Mike the Situation be able to tune in during rec time at his New Jersey correctional facility? Can Pauly D and Vinny truly love someone more than they love themselves, or each other? Are people really planning to watch this?
To their credit, they do both have this going for them: At least they aren't Ronnie.
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