astrology

What You Need to KonMari In Your Life, Based on Your Zodiac Sign

Because just making some space in your closet isn't enough.
January 25, 2019, 11:00am
Marie Kondo Astrology 25
Illustration by Yasmin Hutasuhut

Netflix must have spies in my room who took notes on my lipstick hoarding habit because its latest hit Tidying Up with Marie Kondo surely came at the right time. Everyone I know has "cleaning up" listed as one of their New Year's resolutions and now, thanks to Netflix, we have no reason to procrastinate.

As I watched the Libra cleaning fairy Marie Kondo teach families in desperate need of some sort of order in their homes using the mantra "keep what sparks joy," I was reminded of my obsession to apply the Spark Joy method in all aspects of my life. From Facebook friends, pet selfies, and even your #feelings, you too can KonMari the shit out of everything. But no, I'm not going to tell you to KonMari your wallet because if there's one thing we all should hoard, it's definitely money. Unless you're Billy McFarland.

Advertisement

Check your natal chart here, and read your Ascendant, Sun, and Moon sign for more accurate results.

You: Aries
Declutter: Unfinished Projects

You're always itching to start something new. You probably have had tons of ideas for new ventures that remain in your notebooks, or were done with a spirit of Fyre Fest-like half-assery. It's time to drop the truth bomb on yourself and let go of the projects that you know will bring you no joy in the future. Listen to your friends for a sensible wake-up call, even if your friend is a pilot who taught himself to fly on Microsoft Flight Simulator.

You: Taurus
Declutter: Gifts

Before you go all "I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it," remember the pile of other gifts you've given to yourself currently sitting in the corner of your bedroom. Some of them still have their tags on because when they say "Which one?" you say, "Nah, I want all of em." Retail therapy is addictive, but it's time to let all those things go. Host a garage sale or spoil your friends with your riches and your pre-loved stuff, just don't make it an excuse to buy more!

You: Gemini
Declutter: Receipts

Receipts are basically your lifeline. What if some pop star decides to deny having given her consent about one of your lyrics? Of course, you'll need receipts to back up your claim. But as the drama becomes passé, so do the untouched screenshots on your phone. Time to start the new year by pressing "delete" on your 2016 screenshots to make room for more exciting things. Can I get an amen?

You: Cancer
Declutter: Feelings

You're prone to collecting feelings, even the ones that aren't yours to begin with. A brief heart-to-heart session with your struggling friend puts you at risk for emotional contagion, which may manifest as a PMS-like crabby mood for the entire day. What you need is a daily tidying up to sort out your feelings so you don't project on other people. If it becomes too much to handle, imagine having a tiny Marie Kondo in your head asking if certain feelings spark joy. If it doesn't feel joyful, put it aside and deal with it when you have the time for yourself. It's going to feel like Headspace, but better.

You: Leo
Declutter: Selfies

You know all too well how it feels like to take a lot of selfies to find the right one, only to end up not deleting the rest because you don't have the guts to drag your pretty face to the bin. But your phone's hard drive needs you. There's no point saving all these bursts because that means you won't have enough space for the VSCO or the Unfold version of your selfies. Keep only the ones you love. There will always be another golden hour or another fitting room that will demand a few more gigs.

You: Virgo
Declutter: To-Do Lists

Having a fully loaded to-do list is like a double-edged sword for you. On one hand, it's helpful to know that you've covered all the details. But on the other hand, it causes you to over-plan, and you'll eventually beat yourself up for not crossing everything off the list. You need to learn to chill and stop getting disappointed at yourself for neglecting a few tasks that don't spark joy. If Marie can forgive her clients for refusing to throw away their books, you too can forgive yourself for slacking a little.

You: Libra
Declutter: Makeup & Clothes

You're the kind of person who waits mindlessly for a Colourpop newsletter and then buys a few sale items during lunchtime. You'll justify the purchase because it's cheap and pretty, but as a result, you're now stuck with at least 50 shades of nude lipsticks that you're probably never get to finish. This year, say goodbye to the ones you don't use, find them a better home because you're already beautiful, inside and out.

You: Scorpio
Declutter: Bad Blood

It's difficult for you to remember the good times in a relationship, because what doesn't kill you make you stronger. So to stay on top of your game, you cling to emotional baggage from that time someone stabbed you in the back—just in case your new special someone might do it again. I can't promise you that you won't end up with another unfaithful friend. But if the memory doesn't bring you joy, maybe it's time to let it go. Or, pour it into songs and go on a world tour with it—your choice.

You: Sagittarius
Declutter: Unused Souvenirs

Unlike Scorpios, you prefer to think about the good times, especially when you travel to new places. You don't mind getting small trinkets wherever you go, even though they remind you of that time when you get cheated by a taxi driver in Bali. But face it, you don't need any more corny fridge magnets and Starbucks tumblers, do you?

You: Capricorn
Declutter: Work Documents

Just because you nailed those presentations in the past, it doesn't mean that you have to keep the decks for years to come. Those proposals, thesis, certificates, business cards, and work-related documents may serve as testaments to your success and hard work. But right now, they're collecting enough dust bunnies to distract you from finishing up your 5-year plan. Here's some advice to reduce the stress of tidying up: upload the most important documents to your LinkedIn and discard the rest.

You: Aquarius
Declutter: Social Media

If you start getting bothered by your basic friends' baby updates, maybe it's time to do a social media clean-up. Just because you're friends with someone—or should I say "acquaintances"—it doesn't mean that you need to know every single thing about them. Start taking a closer look at your friend list and only keep the ones whose updates make you feel happy—both for you and for them.

You: Pisces
Declutter: Sentimental items

If you're a Marie Kondo cleaning stage, you would be the last one—sentiments. Your sensitive heart enjoys keeping memories alive by hoarding sentimental clutter, like first date movie tickets, purity rings from your ex five years ago, or even a Barney doll you received on your 8th birthday. It's nice to revisit these memories every once in a while. But is it necessary to keep them in boxes for years? Take some time this week to sort out the items that make you feel warm and fuzzy, and toss out the rest.

Canti Widyadhari is a traveling intuitive reader and certified Reiki master, as well as the founder of Foxglove Tarot. She's passionate about raising the awareness of self-love and helping women design their dream lives using tarot, astrology, and reiki healing. Follow her on Instagram.