Sometimes a news story breaks that is so entirely, purely batshit that I feel truly blessed to be able to share it with you all. This morning is one of those times. Basically, what you need to know is this: Robbie Williams and Jimmy Page (Jimmy 'Led Zeppelin' Page, that is) are next door neighbours, and Robbie's convinced Jimmy is spying on him. I know. Speaking to Italian radio station Radio Deejay, Robbie said in an off-air conversation (which was broadcast without his knowledge) that the two were locked in some neighbourly strife over renovations that Robbie is undertaking on his house: "So um, Jimmy has been sitting in his car outside our house with the windows down, four hours at a time with recording equipment […] He's recording the workmen to see if they're making too much noise. And also two weeks ago, the builders came in and he was asleep in his garden waiting." Robbie also suggested that his former Take That bandmate Gary Barlow was experiencing similar problems with his neighbour, Queen guitarist Brian May. Picture it: Jimmy leaning out the car window with a pair of binoculars, ponytail akimbo in the breeze. Brian too incensed to sleep, trawling the internet for a new decibel meter as his wife, who is against the whole thing if she's honest, sleeps soundly. Both of them, just proper fucking losing it whenever they hear Take That, or a drill. It is the stuff of dreams, and nightmares, and I'm definitely going to write fanfic about it.