It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Jackie Anselmo
The incident: A woman's nine-year-old daughter thought that some Halloween decorations were real dead bodies.
The appropriate response: Taking five seconds out of your day to explain to your child that she is looking at Halloween decorations.
The actual response: The mom complained to the city in an effort to have the decorations removed.
Late last week, Cincinnati, Ohio's WKRC ran a story about the Halloween decorations at a suburban home in the nearby town of Parma. The decorations, which you can see above, consist of several mutilated plastic bodies hanging up around the house's front yard. Despite the fact that they're all pretty standard Halloween decorations, a local mother named Jackie Anselmo took issue with the fact that the house is less than a block from a school.
"You take a double take because it is a very realistic display," Jackie told the network. "And almost horrified that somebody would think it's OK to put it that close to an elementary school."
"I felt scared cause I thought they were real people," said her daughter, who saw the display while being taken to school.
Instead of expressing her concerns with the homeowners, Jackie took a photo of the display and emailed it to city officials. She says that the city told her there was nothing they could do about the display.
Speaking to WKRC, Vicki Barrett, who lives in the Halloween-y house, said that nobody had approached her to complain about the display, and that she would consider toning the display down. "We don't want to scare any kids," she added.
The network asked Jackie's lame daughter if she had any suggestions for a more appropriate Halloween display. "Like, fake plastic sculls or little tiny skeletons or blow up pumpkins," she said.
Cry-Baby #2: Some parents in Georgia
The incident: A school taught kids about ISIS.
The appropriate response: Nothing. Schools exist to teach children about the world.
The actual response: Several parents filed complaints.
Last week, 7th grade students at Jones Middle School in Gwinnett County, Georgia, were taught about ISIS during a social studies class. As part of the lesson, students were given a homework sheet that featured an explanation of what ISIS is. It included information about the group's killing of journalist James Foley.
On the back was the cartoon shown above, which shows a man holding a bloody knife.
ABC 6 reported that a "handful" of parents had lodged formal complaints about the lesson. Many more reportedly expressed outrage on social media.
"This does represent the rigorous integrated lessons that we want our students to be exposed to," school spokesperson Sloan Roach told ABC. "It was really designed to help make students think."
One unnamed mother who was interviewed by the network said: "There is zero tolerance for weapons in Gwinnett Country, but yet this was OK to send home." This is, presumably, because a drawing of a knife is not a weapon.
The mother reportedly wished to remain anonymous "out of fear of retribution." It was not specified whether she was concerned these retributions would come from the school or ISIS.
Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here:
Winner: The fucking bacon jalapeño mac and cheese guy.
Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.