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Vice Blog

A RETTMIX FOR THE WINTER BLUES

This week dear Rettsounds readers, I wish not to get my hands too dirty on this keyboard. What with all the fucking shoveling, digging, and scrapping I've had to do in the past few weeks just to get to work, the pool hall, or the gym, I think they're dirty enough, thank you very much. In between doing all this futile physical labor, I've been taking the lovely Long Island Railroad back and forth to work. As you would expect, it's chock full of assholes who brag very loudly about how large their son's penis is, how he's getting married to a rich whore and all that kinda stuff. It's enough to make a sane man wanna get a horse and move out to the mountains where no one can bother him or his horse. When I finally get back to my safe and secure secret location on the north shore, I kiss the little lady, pop open a few hoppy beverages, and spin records until I come to the realization there's nothing all too shitty about my existence. Most of the songs squeezed into the mix below are the ones that have caused these sudden, revelatory moments that were usually followed by visits to the bathroom. Here's hoping they cause the same result for you as well.

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1. The Hollywood Stars – "All the Kids on the Street" – If you are a true nerd, you will notice very noticeable similarities between this track and Kiss's "King of the Night Time World." The reason for that is Kim Fowley and Mark Anthony wrote both songs (or should I say "both song") and sold them to either band within the same year. True sleaziness does not come finer.

2. Black Market Baby – "Potential Suicide"
3. Hygiene – "Recruitment"
4. General Interest – "I Still Vote for Reagan"

5. The Golden Dawn – "George Hamilton's Dead"
6. The Sandpipers – "Louie Louie"
7. Screamin' Mee-Mees – 'The Future of Time"
8. Love Child – "Sofa"
9. 10CC – "Headline Hustler"

10. The Records – "Hearts in her Eyes" – After writing a song as awesome as "Starry Eyes," I'd imagine all of The Records' songwriting/practice sessions usually went like this –

Record #1: (After playing "Hearts in her Eyes" for his band mates) Wudda ya think?
Record #2: It's pretty good…not as good as "Starry Eyes," but pretty good.
Record #1: Yeah…but it's pretty close, right?
Record #2: Sure.

Record #1 was right. It's pretty close.

11. Home Blitz – "Perpetual Night"
12. Brother JT Thee – "Gettin' There"

13. The Rutles – "I Must Be In Love" – B'last > Black Flag
Uniform Choice > Minor Threat
The Rutles > The Beatles

14. Jeff Humphrey Trio – "Wig"

15. No Sweat – "Start All Over Again" – Sorry for the vinyl popping throughout the track. It was either burn it from the vinyl or rip a YouTube video that sounded like someone dumped a pizza on the record before recording it. I think I made the right choice.

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16. Jameson Raid – "Electric Sun"
17. PVC 2 – "Deranged, Demented and Free"

18. Ramma Lamma – "Tiger Don't Change Its Stripes" – I saw these scruffy Wisconsin youngsters rip up a New Years Eve party in Kalamazoo, Michigan and boy, was I impressed. I was so impressed that I kept drunkenly telling myself I had to eventually buy their single from them before I left the bar. Two days later, after recovering from alcohol poisoning and an overdose of fried pickles, I ordered the thing via the computer. Thanks innerwebs!

19. The Insults – "Hot Love"

20. Chron Gen – "Outlaw" – I don't care if Big Barry Henssler threw a garbage can at these fops, this is one the catchiest (and foppiest) tracks to come outta the second wave postcard punk scene of the U.K. If you don't agree, you're probably brighter than me… that's all.

21. Be Bop Deluxe – "Maid in Heaven"
22. The Ruts – "West One (Shine on Me)"
23. Blondie – "Fade Away and Radiate"
24. Pygmy Shrews – "Dancin' in the Dark"

TONY RETTMAN