I'm in Chelsea and Westminster Hospital and I smell dead people. The stench of rotting flesh and fecal matter is crawling its way up through my nasal cavity and into my medulla oblongata, causing my heart to beat worryingly fast. Or is it slow? I guess that's the National Health Service for you. I know they’re cheap, but surely they could splurge on an air freshener. My boyfriend is asleep in the bed next to me. He's hooked up to all sorts of machines; some that flash, some that buzz, and one that looks like a giant sponge which is connected to his foot. There's an IV in his arm. His skin is so pale that I can see each and every one of his violet veins. He's wearing nothing but a hospital gown. Can it be that for the first time in my life I actually think a boy looks too thin? Survey says: no. I'm a real sucker for that whole "about to die" look. It really turns me on. We fucked in his hospital bed about two hours ago.The old guy in the next bed has no teeth and keeps shitting his pants, hence the smell of excrement. Every time it's the same - the air turns foul, he starts screaming uncontrollably, and then eventually one of the fat Nigerian nurses comes stomping in, making a squeaking noise with her mouth that sounds like she's sucking air through her teeth with her tongue (this, apparently, signifies disapproval in her culture). This is when the old man begins squawking abuse at everyone. But he's got no teeth so you can barely understand a word he's saying. Last time I managed to make out both "You're a monster" and "I'm going to kill you." He seems like a nice guy.The worst, however, is the guy directly opposite. He's half bald and his eyes are wild and evil. He looks like a psycho killer. Actually, I take that back. He is a psycho killer. I'm certain of it. You just don't have a face like that unless you like to chop people up into tiny, neatly packaged pieces. He never has any visitors. When he first came into the ward he was wearing a beret. Killers wear berets.I've been in this portal of human decay for a week now, and by the sounds of it I will have to endure this torture for at least another. It's a bit of a soul-rotting experience, surrounding oneself with death and disease, loss and sadness, misfortune and disfigurement. The anger within me is boiling and my head is not in a good place. Sickness is a seriously bad vibe and I'd like to thank whoever it is I'm supposed to be thanking that I have my health.KARLEYBy the same author: My Boyfriend Is Gay
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