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LITERARY - ENEMIES

I have a serious literary zine in the works called Nicole Kidman, and since it is literary and I am homeless, everything in it has thus far been composed in the public library, mostly in the children's reading lounge where there are usually more available computers. Here's a preview story called "Enemies," which you can probably totally relate to…

I am late meeting Chan for coffee because the restaurant I work at was really busy and stuff. When I finally arrive he just looks at me annoyed and says Could You Be Anymore Late? with this gay sarcastic look he always does and I say I Know! way too loudly and I sit down and order a scone that I'm not going to eat because I don't want to get fat like I was in high school. Chan is starting to look kind of fat, I notice, I think he's getting a double chin. He definitely didn't have a double chin when he was fucking Julia Roberts, which was a weird phase that everyone has pretty much forgotten. As he gets fatter and fatter I find myself thinking about Richard a lot more. I really miss him, I think. I'm really hungry, I think. I might eat half of that scone and then throw it up in the bathroom later or something. After a while, my brother comes to meet us, he's so gross. His head is way too big for his body and his nasally voice makes him sound like he has a cold. One time we kissed when we were teenagers, but I was unconscious at the time so it's not my fault. Even though I think he's disgusting, sometimes I think about him when I'm jerking off. I jerk off at least ten times a day and usually I think about Richard or my brother or food. I might jerk off after I throw up the scone in a second. I'm not listening but my brother and Chan have some funny exchange of jokes and I throw in an I Know! to make it look like I'm listening. Sometimes I think they won't like me if they think I don't listen to their jokes because otherwise I'm just a huge bitch with nothing to add. The blonde chick joins us next. I can never remember her name but I've known for at least eight years. I'm not really sure why we hang out with her since we seem to have nothing in common and I think she might be retarded. I guess that's why I let her hang out with us here at the coffee shop and so on—that is, because she's retarded and I feel bad about it. I don't even know what her job is, I think she might be a hooker. She's wearing a really unflattering flower print maxi skirt which is really "in" right now but will look embarrassing in several years. I should give her a makeover, that would be really good of me since it's probably really difficult for her to get dressed in the morning by herself since she's retarded.

Hey Girl, she says to me in a voice that suggests she is stoned and/or fucked up on pills, How Was The Hanukkah Party At Your Parents House? God, I say, Don't Even Talk To Me About The Hanukkah Party, Richard Showed Up, I say, my mouth sort of closed so Chan doesn't hear even though he's sitting in between us. Talk About Awkward, she says. I Know! I say again loudly. Wait, Who Is Richard, she asks me after a long pause in which we both just stare down at the floor. Suddenly I'm wondering if I've ever even spoken to her before and I try really hard to remember her name but I can't. How Are The Triplets? Chan asks her. What triplets? the blonde chick says, followed by, I Tried To Kill Myself Last Night and then, I Think I Might Become A Guy, and then, Did You Know Ursula Does Porn Now? We laugh, we love her. She's wearing too many bangles but it's OK because she's very creative. Rachel finally brings me my scone. I didn't know she was still a waitress here, but whatever. It looks like she's wearing a wedding dress but that might be "in" right now, I'm not sure. My brother suddenly looks really upset and Rachel just stares at him. There's so much tension I could puke, but I'll wait until after I eat the scone. Hey Monica, she says to me. How Was The Hanukkah Party At Your Parent's House? It Was Gay, I say to her, My Parents Showed Everyone The Pictures From When I Used To Be Fat So I Murdered Them In Their Sleep. Yeah You Were So Fat In High School, my brother says, the others nodding. Could You Be Any Fatter, Chan says. I laugh, everyone laughs. I try to eat the scone but it's actually just a really hard piece of inedible plastic that is painted to look like a scone so I get super pissed and bring it up to the counter since I don't want to ask Rachel to take it back for me because I'm still not sure if she actually works here. The weird albino man waiting behind the counter looks at me really confused. I say What Are You Some Kind Of Fucking Faggot and I spit in his face and tell him to give me the bathroom key. I go to the bathroom and throw up some bile and fix my hair, which is short and dark and layery and very "in." Standing in front of the mirror I start pissing onto the floor, letting the piss run down my legs, which are very thin. Then I take off all my clothes and squat on the john and start jerking off. As I jerk off I fantasize about Richard and my brother and then Richard and my brother fucking in the ass and then Richard and my brother eating brownies and fucking in the ass and shitting all over each other but I can't stop accidentally thinking about Julia Roberts so I switch to a fantasy about two guys raping me in Central Park which gets me off fairly quickly. Afterward I head over to the couch and see that Joey has finally arrived and he says "Eyyyy" and we laugh and sit down so we're all comfortably posed on the couch, even Rachel in her dirty wedding dress even though I now definitely think she is supposed to be working but maybe not. We're all very careful to face out and not in toward one another but we still look very natural. As everyone sips their coffees and talks about bullshit I sniff my hands which smell like piss and brownies and vinegar and my cunt. God I hate my friends, I think to myself, they're all such white losers with nothing to say. New York is a drag, I think. Maybe I'll go to Miami, I think. Maybe I'll just die, I think. I close my eyes and imagine killing all my friends and blowing up Manhattan and getting raped by four guys this time instead of two.

BUNNY KINNEY