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Vice Blog

MELBOURNE - COME FORWARD AND EXPLAIN YOURSELVES


Last week my wife found this picture on the 96 tram in Melbourne. She gave it to me thinking I would enjoy it but it confused me more than anything. There is a lot going on in the retarded photograph and a lot I would like to know.

Ok, so there are a few things going on here.

A. The first thing you notice are the tits. In photo 2 you can see three quarters of a tit and in photo 3 you see maybe a quarter.

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B. In the middle of these tits is a total herb with a goatee, This guy looks like an Animal Collective or recent M.I.A. fan. How did he find himself in between these melons? Why is he upside down in photo 1?

C. In photo 1 the female in the white shirt is smoking. Unless this photo is from 1983, this bitch is breaking the law, which is pretty rebellious. Do these people have a photo booth from the 70's in one of their houses? Very risque if you ask me!

D. How come you never get one full breast? Were these broads too loaded to even pull that off right? Was the nerd with the facefuzz pulling up the tops or the girls?

So many questions about this mysterious photo, so little time. If you are out there in internet land, subjects, I implore you to come forward. Our reader demand a written explanation. sharkey@viceaustralia.com. We'll all be waiting if you have the balls, or the goatee, or the half tit to show yourselves.

UNCLE SHARKEY