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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - ABOUT THAT SHOW WE TOLD YOU TO GO TO LAST NIGHT...


So that show we told you to go to last night…did you? If so, you know how fucking good it was. But maybe you didn't, so therefore here's a roundup of what you missed.

The great thing about XRay Eyeballs is they don't talk to the audience at all. Some people need witty banter to keep the audience engaged but they were like, fuck it, if you want to ignore us go right ahead. And no one did. Nice reverse psychology. I do wish they would've squished together more so I could've fit Carly in the photo too…

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But it's OK because it's given me an excuse to show you an extreme close-up of these strap-ons that turned my vagina into a Slip 'N Slide. I have a shoe fetish. So what?

Here's Wolfy of Red Dawn II. They ruled but…

There is absolutely no excuse for these shoes. No!

Best outfit in the place. Loose fishnet bolero sounds like a disgusting tranny hairnet, except when paired with those tits and a Desert Storm kilt. You can't see it but her pendant is a silver peanut couching a folding knife.

Here's a photo that "sets the scene."

And this one does too, but in a different way. Ladies, can you all please start having big hair like this? It's easier to imagine fucking you when we get to see the visual aftermath.

This is Skin Drink. Dudes always look funny when they're screaming like they REALLY MEAN IT, but actually this band was a little scary…

Especially this guy. Tribal face tattoos always make my belly feel strange. See that spring-loaded sheet metal thing back there?

It's covered in Runes and he played it like a gong.

And then they got all aggro and started seriously fist-fighting the audience. Not just ramming through all fake angry, but actually punching people in the mouth.

He's watching the bouncers kick out someone who got punched for no reason and simply took it.

I think I really dislike his jeans.

TEEN LAQUEEFA