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DEAR VICE: THIS PHOTO

Dear Vice: I'm sending you this photo for about the seven thousandth time (this time through the actual post) because I have a rare disorder that doesn't yet have a name but is diagnosed for symptoms of having too much a sense of "blatantly slightly...

Dear Vice: I'm sending you this photo for about the seven thousandth time (this time through the actual post) because I have a rare disorder that doesn't yet have a name but is diagnosed for symptoms of having too much a sense of "blatantly slightly off and therefore perfect" photo composition and timing, still thinking girls puking/peeing/doing whatever gross thing is "transgressive," and not knowing when to take a hint that a magazine may not be interested in my work. I think it may have something to do with being Canadian. I know you got this image the first 6,999 times because I flagged it as high priority with a return receipt. Why won't you publish my genius? Sincerely, Anonymous in Vancouver

Dear Anonymous:

You didn't write this letter. We did. You've emailed--and now mailed in an actual envelope--this photo to us far too often, each time with no explanation. What are we supposed to do with this but sort of wonder if that's three girls or four (is one leaning backwards over the wall?) and mentally note the bad puka shell ankle bracelet, then move on? Please stop sending. We're not interested. Bye.