Verizon Wireless Unveils Its Own Brand Name Hand Sanitizer on 4G LTE Network

Verizon opened their ‘Innovation Center’ in Waltham, Massachusetts yesterday to crowds of, I don’t know, businessmen or something. The center has been designed to provide a space for developing, testing and showing off new products on Verizon’s 4G LTE network.

With its 4G LTE network, Verizon is releasing a whole slew of new devices, like tablets, smartphones and other smartstuff. But the most innovative product to be hatched from the belly of Verizon’s new idea acropolis is unarguably the service provider’s own brandname hand sanitizer. An anonymous source tells Motherboard: “Verizon has their own hand sanitizer. They have someone else make it and then brand it Verizon Wireless.” Brilliant. A baptismal jelly to wash away the vile stench of your former gangrenous service provider.

Our source complained that he would have shared this photo with us earlier, if only his AT&T service hadn’t mysteriously been dropped upon entering the Innovation Center. Another clever move by Verizon: going for the soft spot.