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The VICE Staff Picks the Best Gifts of 2022

Our Editors' Picks for the Best Holiday Gifts of 2022

Every holiday season, you’ll see about a bajillion gift guides out there, ranging from the basic (get Dad a tie! get Mom a robe!) to the advanced (Brutalist calendars! phone cases that look like a butcher knife!). And while we’re massively grateful for all of these guides—and truly wish to service our readers with all of the ones we’ve put together—sometimes, nothing really compares to a personal touch [squirts massage oil into hands].

What do we mean by that? Well, we’re talking about gift ideas that are so unabashedly incredible, we literally want them for ourselves. We’re talking about the shit we’re bookmarking, screenshotting, DMing to the squad, and leaving open in a tab for weeks under the impression that somehow it will go way down in price (and occasionally, it does!).

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We gathered up our writers and editors and compiled a comprehensive gift guide to the stuff so maddeningly sick that we, ourselves, are obsessed with it—whether from afar or from personal experience. Read on for the best gift ideas for your boo, your mama, your piano teacher, your skate park crush, your club hookup, or just straight up yourself.

A sculptural shrimp candle

When will someone finally take me seriously enough to give me this work of art? Yes, it’s a glorious, handcrafted shrimp made of wax, almost too perfect to burn, and it’s at the tippity-top of my wishlist this year. As someone with a serious shrimp fetish, nothing would make me squeal with delight more than unwrapping this shrimp cocktail for one. —Becca Blasdel

A status fog machine

Never thought I’d describe a fog machine as “status,” but then Rick Owens—of course it was Rick Owens—came along and made a gold fog machine, complete with its own stainless steel carrying case. In a past life, I was a DJ and I was always, always begging for the fog machine to be cranked higher. In my dreams, this is the fog machine I’d load with Bog Fog and use to create a sweaty, strobe-y swamp on the dance floor. Yes, it is $5,250. I will not be taking any more questions at this time. —Hilary Pollack

This mini Atari

Sometimes, God gives his tastiest treats to his hungriest nerds. Not only can you find full-scale Ataris on Amazon, but you can also find a mini Atari that cuts no corners with the details; there’s even a functioning joystick with this pre-programmed 2600 console, and 10 pre-loaded games such as Pac-Man. As one reviewer writes, “I am constantly feeling like I want to buy shrink ray from Rick Morantis and shrink myself down to the size of [it]]. I guess it’s a side effect of owning one of these.” It’s also only 24 bucks, and a great gift for someone you just started dating who you want to low-key impress. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

A candle that smells way more expensive than it is

Personally, I’ve always been a fan of Malin+Goetz’s stuff, which spans all sorts of good-smelling stuff. The cream of the crop, though? In this humble writer’s opinion, it’s the perfectly priced candles. While there’s plenty of great scents that the brand has on deck, when the temperature drops I love the Leather candle. According to Malin+Goetz, the profile has a spectrum of scents that starts with notes like eucalyptus and clove, progresses to orchid and finishes with a base of cedarwood, cashmere musk, and—of course—leather. If you’re asking me though, it just smells warm and expensive (so, basically, perfect for holiday gifting). —Gregory Babcock

The ideal gift for a Taurus (or anyone who lives to sleep)

I’m an absolute freak for bedding the way that some people are really into crypto or classic cars or whatever. The way I feel about trying an exciting new sheet set is the way Marvel nerds feel about Comic-Con. (Yes, something is probably wrong with me.) Anyway, when I recently got my hands on Brooklinen’s cashmere sheets, it was a match made in heaven, and I’ve slept on them every night since. I was initially concerned that I might wake up drenched in sweat, as though I’d slept in a giant, oppressive winter sweater, but on the contrary, they’re not only crazy-soft but naturally temperature-regulating. (They’re a cashmere-cotton blend, by the way.) Luxurious? Yes—these sheets are a gift for someone who really rocks your world. —Hilary Pollack

Big bossy headphones

I give up. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I cannot keep track of a pair of AirPods. They’re too tiny, too easily chewed by puppy teeth, the exact perfect size for slipping through a subway grate. After trying to cope with a cheap knockoff pair, I’ve basically stopped listening to music on the go, and instead just stare into the abyss. But not in 2023, because I am demanding a pair of statement AirPods Max in green, because they’re chic as hell and remind me of celery. —Becca Blasdel

Trompe l’oeil soaps that are just too good

Why do we love non-edible things that look like food so much? Is it the masochism of forbidden desire? Nah, it’s probably just because they’re so cute, man. If your childhood was also rooted in memories of eating these shortbread cookies out of that classic blue tin (and then repurposing the tin for sewing kits and leftovers), you’re in good company. The only problem is that the whole set is so charming you might not want to actually use the soaps to wash the smell of chopped garlic off of your hands.  —Angel Kilmister

A subscription for espresso freaks

I’m not shy about the fact that I’m truly a coffee snob, but I’m also historically a creature of extreme habit that buys the same exact espresso beans every week. Trade’s subscription might be the gift to help get me out of my caffeine comfort zone. Not only have I never seen a coffee subscription specifically designed for espresso lovers, but the service sends you the freshest beans possible from thirdwave coffee roasters that are picked and tailored to your individual taste. Sign. Me. Up. —Kate Spencer

Caress the windows to their soul

Sure, you can easily give someone a gift card to Massage Envy, but where’s the novelty in that? It doesn’t exist. Therefore, bless someone with the gift of a Renpho eye massager to rid themselves of bloodshot, tired eyes. I’ve been using it for months and love it—it’s saved my skull many days. Its sleek, black matte edition is 58% off right now, and helps reduce eye bags, puffiness, dark circles, dry eyes, and eyes strain. —Nicolette Accardi

Probably the best bagel slicer ever made

I went to a brunch recently and was asked to cut the bagels, and then I was handed this bagel slicer. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” I thought. “I will just use a regular knife.” But I obliged, and quickly realized that it’s a perfect device. It cuts bagels cleanly and evenly, and makes it nearly impossible to slice yourself (though I’m sure some will find a way). We all know the sheer adrenaline rush of the daredevil method of cutting bagels, where you palm the bagel and slowly ease a sharp-ass knife towards your own hand like an idiot. You really don’t have to do that anymore. —Adam Rothbarth

The heavy metal version of a Carrie necklace

Behold, the ‘it’ gift of the season for hesher girlies: a mini nameplate necklace on a choker chain… in black metal font! [metal horns] Giving and receiving jewelry can sometimes feel cringe, but not so with this customizable choker that will match both a Birkin bag and corpse paint. Choose from silver or gold vermeil for $185, or go big with the $1,500 diamond-encrusted white-gold version. —Hilary Pollack

It’s not a Peloton (but it doesn’t have to be)

I am not a fitness freak by any means, but I am committed to my evening workouts. While I’ve tried everything from weight-lifting (I am weak) to road-running (I have bad knees), using a stationary bike has been the best way for me to lock in some serious cardio on a regular basis. I have been a fan of this particular bike model—a no-frills stationary bike with a minimal, digital calculator-like LCD monitor for tracking speed and distance—since gyms shut down during 2020. If you’re OK with a straight-to-the-point piece of equipment and looking for an affordable alternative to a brand name bike (cough, Peloton, cough) then this bike is the perfect workout machine for helping someone take on pre- and post-holiday resolutions. —Gregory Babcock

The Bonne Maman jam advent calendar

Who doesn’t love collecting those little jam jars from pancake houses? Bonne Maman’s jam advent calendar is the perfect gift for the food-obsessed person in your life, because it’s filled with both classic and hard-to-find preserves from the iconic French jam makers such as apricot, mirabelle, white nectarine, and fig and cardamom. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

A turntable for soon-to-be record nerds

If there’s a music lover in your life who still doesn’t have a turntable, this gift is a must. In case it needs explaining: Having a record player sets a whole different mood when you’re listening to music at home. When you put on a record, the slow lowering of the needle and the constant, hypnotizing spin of the disc palpably adds to the atmosphere of your living room/conversation pit/yurt. The music is no longer some distant sound playing from your phone, it’s now this process you can see and feel as you take time to get up and flip the record over when the A-side runs out. Audio-Technica is the perfect brand for upgrading your recipient’s setup from “beginner” to “audiophile,” approved by the vinyl lords at Amoeba Records. To make this gift more personal, you could also include some of the person’s favorite albums to start their new collection. —Erica Sullivan

SKIMS’ crazy-cozy sleep set

Would you believe me if I told you I’ve never owned a matching pajama set? Like literally not even when I was a teeny tiny infant and my mom still chose my outfits. It may be cheugy, but I’m about to purchase myself (and many others on my list) this classic sleep set from SKIMS. Plus, the classic plaid is neutral enough for any holiday your giftee may (or may not) be celebrating.  —Kate Spencer

CBD gummies that actually rule

Dad Grass, maker of my favorite pre-rolled CBD joints in the game, has hit another home run with the release of its new line of gummies. There are three versions: Classic (straight CBD); Goodtime Formula (CBD + CBG); and Nighttime Formula (CBD + CBN). Honestly, they all slap, and they actually taste pretty decent, too—not astringent like some other brands. Each gummy packs 20 milligrams of CBD/G/N and less than .3% THC, meaning you’ll definitely feel waves of good vibes, but without the fear of misdosing and going too hard (like when my friend made pot brownies before we saw Godspeed You! Black Emperor, but we don’t need to get into that). Anyway, if you’re off THC for whatever reason and don’t want to smoke, but still enjoy flirting with ascension, Dad Grass gummies are the way. —Adam Rothbarth

A black-and-white view on the classic disposable camera

I’ve bought dozens of disposable cameras in my life, but this was the first disposable camera I ever bought out of a bar’s vending machine. While I’m a major fan of the iconic Kodak Funsaver, this model uses black-and-white film instead of color—putting a more dramatic spin on the classic single-use camera. When others are scrambling for their phones or fussing with filters, this camera should add a new dimension to making (and preserving) memories. —Gregory Babcock

Make your pet look like they’re going to a wedding in Joshua Tree

For some people, the best way to their heart is through their stomach; for others, it’s through their pets. For the friend who lives to show you entire slideshows of their Bengal cat or micro-aussiedoodle at every opportunity, a pet-sized bolo tie is truly the gift that will make their century. —Angel Kilmister

Huge, fluffy UGG slippers

Ever since I gifted myself these babies for Chanukah 2021, they have not left my feet (inside my house of course). These are by far my favorite house slippers I’ve ever owned. I love the coziness of the fluff to keep my dogs warm and the fun colors to add some sunshine on a gloomy day. The best part of the Fluff Yeah Slide Slippers is the stretchy strap at the back that allows for sport mode if I’m feeling extreme in the crib. —Becca Sax

The Trinity of luxury hand care

We already belong to the cult of fancy hand soaps, of which Aesop is the GOAT thanks to its crisp, herbaceous aromas. This hand care trio from the brand unites three of its biggest icons: the Resurrection Aromatique hand wash, hand lotion, and hand sanitizer—in other words, a portable spa day for your hands. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

A silk pillowcase

I’ve been sleeping on this Blissy silk pillowcase for months now, and it’s easily one of the most quietly luxurious parts of my day. (The other one is when I use a tiny golden spoon to put Maldon salt on my eggs.) The buttery, cooling silk pillowcase is 25% off right now, and comes in an ombré shade of amber that I like to call “Jimmy Buffett sunset.” —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

A cooler that looks and is cool

Even your least nostalgic gift recipient will enjoy this retro, special edition cooler from Igloo, which comes in five ‘90s-inspired colors. I own two of them, and they’re perfect for picnics, but also amazing for house parties. Like, who doesn’t want to feel like they’re entering an episode of Saved by the Bell when they reach for another bottle of wine or Miller High Life? —Adam Rothbarth

The it-bag from heaven

Call this one a pipe dream (maybe I’ll be able to secure a sugar daddy by December 24), but once I laid my eyes upon the Bottega Veneta Mini Jodie in Denim, I went weak in the knees. I, unfortunately, am an it-bag ho, who has been on a spending freeze since the pandy—but if there’s one bag that’s gonna make me act up it’s this woven bag, very reminiscent of the 00s, made of soft woven lambskin suede, that’s printed to look like it’s actual denim. Froth. —Becca Blasdel

For the friend who always flexes how much they love spicy food

When Fly By Jing—maker of truly delightful Sichuan chile crisp, dumplings, and other modern Chinese-cuisine delights—and tinned seafood company Fishwife teamed up and made a spicy, tingly, ultra-umami salmon together, it was the collab of the year as far as I’m concerned. This snackable smoked salmon is brined in garlic salt and brown sugar, then packed into that so, so good Sichuan chile crisp oil, and it’s divine. Never thought I’d be a tinned fish girl, but here we are. It’s on the pricier side for the snack category, so it makes a great gift, IMO. —Angel Kilmister

A personalized necklace for your dog

I am whole-heartedly, unequivocally obsessed with my puppy Nugget—as I’m sure many of you first-time pet owners are—and I want to buy anything and everything for my baby no matter the price tag… so when I saw the personalized necklaces they were not a want, but a NEED. A dainty string of freshwater pearls, Austrian crystals and Czech beads adorning my most precious lady’s neck for under $100?! Abso-fucking-lutely. Also, did I mention that humans can get a matching one too (not saying this is the best gift ever, but it just might be). —Becca Sax

Do it for the mems

I’d like to publicly thank my videographer boyfriend for letting me give away his camera secret to the entire internet. He’s been carrying around these little ‘toy’ cameras—actually designed for children — that not only store your photos digitally, but also print them directly on receipt paper. It’s honestly so fun and would be perfect to bring to any holiday gathering. I’m also planning on grabbing a few extra for stocking stuffers or white-elephant situations that may be in my future. —Kate Spencer

The little home bar gift to stuff in a stocking

Have you, too, found that you and your friends have gotten really, really into dirty martinis in the last couple of years? Well, even if they’re more of the Old Fashioneds type or have gone neck-deep into tiki drinks, the drinking crowd at large will appreciate these swaggy gold cocktail picks, the perfect finishing touch for making a home-crafted drink feel like it should cost $21 at a fancy hotel lobby bar. —Hilary Pollack

Star Wars Legos for nostalgic joy

Enough with the practical gifts! As an adult you get used to receiving gifts of clothing, cookware, and candles, but rarely do we get to recapture the feeling and nostalgia that comes from opening a totally impractical toy designed strictly for entertainment value. This Lego Millennium Falcon set will not only be exciting for those who love adult Legos and Star Wars, but you’re also giving that feeling of opening something meant solely for fun—a rarity in our stressful capitalist hell! —Erica Sullivan

The foolproof classic Carhartt beanie

Still stumped? Here’s the one gift to rule them all. One can never have too many beanies, right? An iconic Carhartt beanie is perfect for anyone and everyone, given the various color options and stretchy material. Whether you’re gifting to someone who is in dire need of a beanie or someone who already has a collection started, this under-$20 gift is sure to get the approval from anyone, and I can prove it. Cousin you only speak to twice a year? Carhartt beanie. Significant other who is picky about their clothes? Carhartt beanie. Secret Santa gift exchange where you draw the ONE person who has no interests or hobbies? Carhartt beanie. It’s foolproof. —Erica Sullivan

We look forward to getting these under our figurative tinsel tree (or putting them under yours, wink wink). Happy holidays, friend of VICE.


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.