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How Our Favorite DJ Families Would Celebrate Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving meets DJ fanfic.
November 27, 2014, 3:39am
Thanksgiving is all about crew love. There's only one thing more important than eating a bunch of delicious bird meat and drowning yourself in wine: being around your people. Even if that means you might end up killing each other. To that end, THUMP decided to imagine what our favorite DJ families would do to celebrate the most gluttonous day of the year. 

L.I.E.S.

Steve Summers and Bookworms (Photo by Bryan Derballa/Marijke Kuiper) 

In the second annual outsider Thanksgiving, LIES ditched the digital timers of your entitled American kitchen. Ron Morelli slow-cooked the bird on a vintage WW2-era portable camping burner for five days. Wires were everywhere as Terekke used nothing but analog blending equipment for his signature Turerkky Dressing. Everything was going smoothly as Delroy put the final touches on a delicious cranberry stuffing, until a cigarette butt from Bookworms bounced off the modular mixer and into the bunsen burner, igniting the entire campsite. Morelli just shrugged and took the lot to eat soup dumplings in Chinatown.

Nest HQ

At the Nest HQ Thanksgiving, everybody wears black. Even the turkey, because Clayton burnt it. Boys Noize insists this holiday makes no sense to him even though Kill the Noise has explained the sociopolitical history of it to him twice, and Rusko is wasted and doing the Running Man. Sonny's outside smoking a cigarette teaching Ghastly and Mija the secret handshake while Durante's mama's meatballs win the night. Everyone falls asleep later as The M Machine get in another long-winded conversation about Werner Herzog.

PC Music

The PC Music clan is live-streaming their Thanksgiving party—which is actually a group of total strangers pretending to be A.G. Cook, GFOTY, Hannah Diamond and Danny L Harle, sitting in a circle huffing nitrous balloons. Everyone thought they were supposed to bring "GIFS" instead of "gifts"—so there's no food. Luckily, someone spiked the punch with an energy drink elixir. Suddenly, the door swings open with a shower of rainbow confetti. Holy shit, it's SOPHIE, QT, and a like fifty K-pop stars! They burst into chipmunk voices, joyfully singing the McDonalds jingle. Everyone passes out from a kawaii overload.

Ostgut Ton

Marcel Dettman and Ben Klock

No photos were allowed at the Osgut Ton Thanksgiving this year however we know through Cassy's snapchats that Ben Klock was manning the ones and twos (left and right turkey legs, respectively). Even though it was extremely dark, we could see that things got dicey when Dettmann forgot the Maté Caserole, but Heidi showed up late (per usual) and saved the day with a delicious Currywurst Souffle. Scuba said grace, and gave thanks for his black T-shirt collection. After supper Shed and Prosumer broke out Twister. Marcel Fengler proceeded to dominate everyone with a reverse crab extension he dubbed "sine reduction."

Hyperdub

In a dark, grimy corner of East London, the Hyperdub family is huddled around a bottle of top-shelf whiskey. At the head of the table, label boss and patriarch Kode 9 goes into tipsy professor mode, launching into a lecture on the modern implications of sonic warfare. Jessy Lanza seems to be the only one listening; Ikonika is too busy smoking cigarettes and playing video games on her phone. Mala and Scratcha DVA are clowning around as they roll a doobie the size of a small umbrella. A shadow flits around the corners of the room—don't be afraid, it's just the specter of Burial.

Crew Love

No one can start eating until Gadi from Wolf + Lamb proclaims "Crew Love is the true love." Nevermind, Tanner Ross already has one hand in the turkey basket.Greg Paulus from No Regular Play is a bit salty because he was instructed he has to play trumpet in the corner while everyone eats. Everyone starts making fun of the turkey-bits in Slow Hands' moustache. Charlie from Soul Clap makes a crack about Navid Izadi's shawl dipping into his jello bowl. The situation quickly devolved into an all-out food fight.

Datsik, Excision, and the Canadian Bassheads

Every Thanksgiving, Datsik, Excision and the rest of British Columbia's dubstep bros get together for dinner wearing their best board shorts and x-treme graphic tees. On the table: nothing but Monster Energy Drink.

Alison Wonderland and Jessie Andrews

Although they talk on Skype every night, Jessie Andrews and Alison Wonderland like to get together for a sisterly cuddle fest at least once a year. Yes, they wear matching vintage graphic tees.