That Terrifying New Eggplant-Flavored Condom Was a Hoax

Whether you call it an eggplant, an aubergine, or a brinjal, it would be sheer folly to argue that the savory oblong fruit doesn't have a deeply phallic connotation in modern society. Hell, there's even an online eggplant customization and mailing service geared towards those who "want to send someone a real life penis emoji."

Whatever your own opinions on the subject may be, it's just a simple truth that eggplants are the frothing sexpot of the produce world.

That's a belief that has been firmly solidified in our minds after Durex announced to the world this Monday that they are planning to fill a void absolutely no one was aware even existed by launching a new eggplant-flavored condom. Terror and disbelief began to sink in for many, as they contemplated how something of the sort could ever possibly be unleashed unto the unsuspecting masses.

#BreakingNews: We're launching an exciting new savoury #condom range - Eggplant flavour! #CondomEmoji pic.twitter.com/idA07EaiXC

— Durex Global (@durex) September 5, 2016

"Would the condom taste like raw or cooked eggplant?" "What color would the condom make your phallus appear?" "Is it possible to make baba ghanoush with some tahini, a pack of rubbers, and sheer determination?" The Internet was abuzz with questions of this sort… until it was revealed that we had all been played for the fools we are and that the condom was purely fictitious.

@durex Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should. — Ian (@ianspencer95) September 5, 2016

.@durex hi guys, just a quick one. How have you prepared and cooked the aubergine? Thanks.

— Josh Barrie (@joshbythesea) September 5, 2016

After Durex's original tweet was shared more than 8,000 times, the company let it slip that the product didn't actually exist and was dreamed up as part of a year-old campaign to petition for the adoption of a universal condom emoji.

You got us, there's no Eggplant condom! But why no #CondomEmoji? RT if you agree emoji makers should make one! pic.twitter.com/6H6AU6zkJ6 — Durex Global (@durex) September 5, 2016

Soon after The Daily Dot posted an article on the flavored condom, Durex reportedly sent them a statement that reads as follows: "Following Unicode's decision not to approve an official condom emoji, leaving young people without a symbol to signify safe sex, this product launch comes from Durex to acknowledge the eggplant's place in the language of sex and hope that this new product will help empower young people to put safe sex back on the menu." MUNCHIES reached out to Durex's parent company, Reckitt Benckiser, for comment, but has yet to hear back.

Even if the thought of an eggplant-flavored condom is more revolting to you than eating a steamy pile of tuna salad from the naked and recently shaved back of Garry Marshall, it's hard to deny that Durex hasn't gotten exactly what it wanted and raised a fair amount of awareness for the "world's first official safe sex condom emojis."

This sure as hell isn't the first time that an odd or unlikely food-flavored condom has caught the bemused and nauseated gaze of the public at large. We've previously reported on both a condom manufacturer in Thailand who had the horrifying idea to create a durian-flavored (and presumably scented) condom and a Moscow-based designer who created a pizza condom that she herself believes is "incredibly disgusting."

Given the inextricable role both sex and food play in humanity's unending quest for base pleasure and the bacchanalian, it seems highly unlikely that there won't be yet another food-themed condom in the near future. After all, you can take the food out of sex, but you're going to have a damn hard time removing all aspects of sex from food and its consumption. Just consider Sylvester Graham and his carnal-urge-mitigating graham crackers—and how far said cracker has veered from its original intention.