As 2016 come close to an end, it's pretty safe to say that this year totally sucked. Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. To top it all off, a power-hungry narcissist who resembles an orange M&M more than he does a human being is set to rule the country. As 2017 nears, I'm craving happiness in any way I can get it. Obviously, the best way to do this is through food, if only for a brief moment, and remind ourselves there is still good in this world.
Someone who shares that sentiment is Los Angeles' own Angelyne, a.k.a. the "Billboard Queen." She was one of the first women to achieve fame simply for making herself famous. In the 80s, billboards popped up all over LA, depicting only an alluring image of her buxom blonde figure along with her name and a phone number. Though the billboards aren't around anymore, Angelyne has since developed a cult following. (Many would say that you aren't a real Angeleno until you've spotted Angelyne driving around town in her pink Corvette.) She's achieved fame while remaining a complete mystery. She's released three music albums and has made appearances in more than a dozen films, yet her personal life remains hazy. Remaining an enigma keeps her famous.
I first met Angelyne after winning a ride with her in that renowned pink Corvette. She asked me something I had never been asked before: "Are you a sweet girl or a salty girl?" She asks this of everyone she meets. I wasn't exactly sure how to answer, so I threw the question back at her. Her response: "Depends on who I'm with." I told her I felt the same way.
During our car ride, she mentioned that she is currently trying to put on some weight. "I used to only eat tomatoes to stay skinny," she said, but explained that she now considers tomatoes a bad luck food. "I bought five pounds of tomatoes once, and while they were in my car I got stopped by a cop who gave me a ticket. A month later, I bought more tomatoes and backed into a car. How can I have tomatoes with no trouble?" Since those two incidents, Angelyne now believes that tomatoes must be purged of their negative energy. "Someone has to poke a tomato for me with a toothpick before I can eat it." She'll ask strangers at grocery stores to poke her tomatoes before she puts them in her car, telling them it's good luck for show business. "If I wasn't Angelyne, they'd think it was odd."
Naturally, if Angelyne considers certain foods to bring bad luck, she must have foods she believes will bring good luck. America needs good luck now more than ever, so why not indulge in foods that might bring it to us?
We met again, this time at a Denny's in Hollywood. We both ordered breakfast off of the kids menu at 6 PM. I didn't take Angelyne for a Denny's fan, but as she drenched her French toast with maple syrup, it started to make more sense. "I'm a sweet girl today," she told me.
The first good luck food, according to Angelyne, is chocolate. We should all be eating a little bit of chocolate every day to make ourselves happier. It's good for the mind and body," she said, emphasising brownies especially.
On the salty side, Angelyne gives much praise to pizza. "When I do shoots, I'd demand there be pizza on set. It's good, and everybody gets excited about it. That's how you know it's good luck. The excitement creates a positive atmosphere."
When it comes to beverages, Angelyne is all for the promising fortune of pink Champagne. Not only because it's pink, but because Champagne is celebratory.
This same line of thinking is also why Angelyne considers birthday cake to be lucky. Food and drinks linked to celebration instantly lift the spirits, making it easier for good fortune to enter our lives, she said.
On that note, Angelyne made a point about how important food is in relation to sex. "Food and sex is a great combination," she said. That brought her to her next good luck food: whipped cream. You can guess why.
She ended her list adding that spicy food is good luck, too—particularly hot sauce. As she put it, spicy food boosts the personality, while clearing negative energy.
Since meeting with Angelyne, I've made it a point to include at least one of these foods into my daily eating regimen. I can't say my luck has changed drastically, at least not yet. I will admit that making it a point to do something as simple as biting into a piece of chocolate and taking the time to really enjoy it has given me just the right amount of comfort that I need to make life a little sweeter, and my mood less salty. Maybe that's what will eventually bring me the luck that Angelyne has found. Try it for yourself and see what happens.