I Want My Dvds

Chick Fights

Shock

Rating: 9.5

Skank With Braids #1 to Skank With Braids #2, "Take it like a bitch, bitch!" The greatest documentary ever made, ‘Fights' is now followed by the mother of all sequels—‘Chick Fights'. The genius of this film cannot be questioned. Horrible Avril-Lavigne-a-likes smacking each other in the chops with vicious uppercuts while picking out a g-string could only be beat if they were pissing on each other as well.

CHUCK & TITO

I Spit On Your Grave

Force Entertainment

Rating: 8

Someone should make a rape/revenge movie where your average, semi-fit woman cops it from four guys, works on her tan and then systematically seduces the gang and embarks on a shooting, lynching, mincing, cock-chopping rampage. They could make it with jack-shit money and it could be really funny in that creepy kind of way that makes you feel guilty for almost getting a boner.

DON JUAN

WarpVision: The Videos 1989–2004

Warp/Inertia

Rating: 7

It's super easy to beak this down. Before '96, the music and videos are moderately interesting but ultimately embarrassing reminders of the cheesy origins of this classic label. '97–2001 are so incredible that you'll shit in your britches and be completely cool with that. 2002–2004 is spent scratching your head, lamenting the obvious repetition and wishing that digital handycam and computers had never been invented. For many different reasons this is a disturbing insight into the rapid rise and gradual slide of England's electronic dreaming.

RICK

Hexstatic: Masterview

Ninjatune/Inertia

Rating: 5

Ever been to a hip-hop or breaks night that didn't feature mixed up projections of kung-fu movies, old hi-fi advertisements, people playing drums and dodgy scientific diagrams? Well, Hexstatic helped start this shit, it's their responsibility to put an end to it. Throw on a Coldcut mix CD and stare at your screensaver instead. Seriously, grow the fuck up.

NIPPLES