
There’s that tofu stink. I haven’t smelled that in a while. It’s the curd equivalent of a sweaty triathlon, for tough guys only. They make it by letting tofu rot until it ferments. It tastes like it smells: cheese thrown into a public toilet that hasn’t been cleaned in ten years. INTESTINES IN DUCK BLOOD
I think these are making me horny. They’re exactly how I remember them, but this place is stingy with the duck blood—it’s kind of thin. My mom’s coagulated into thick cubes that went squish when you bit into them. But this is still delicious, like marinated tripe. I can tell it’s well cleaned because it doesn’t taste like there are chunks of shit inside. SLICED PIG STOMACH IN SOUR CABBAGE SOUP
The Taiwanese eat almost every part of the pig, so this is like a hamburger over there. They slow-cook the stomach until the fat completely melts off. It’s weird to think about digesting something’s gut, but it’s also delicious. Pork-stomach success! LIVE OCTOPUS ON A BED OF LETTUCE
This is one of the most unique eating experiences I’ve ever had. The octopus comes out about two minutes after ordering—they just pull it from the tank, hack it up, and throw it in front of you. It writhes on the plate as you eat it, and you can feel it slimily wiggling around your mouth while its suckers stick to your tongue and grab the insides of your cheeks. I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone. Food shouldn’t attack the person who’s eating it. CHILLED PIG FACE IN GARLIC AND SMASHED CUCUMBERS
This is pretty refreshing after the octopus. It’s really savory, a great way to end the day. It’s hard to tell which part of the face you’re eating because it’s all hacked up, but I do know it’s a mixture of forehead, chin, cheek, neck, and ears. I was hoping it’d be served as a flat-face sheet, but I guess that’s Silence of the Lambs territory. Check out live sets from Dirty Beaches and a whole mess of other bands at Noisey.com.