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Thank god they didn't film his face while he was playing. Twelve minutes of his face clenched up like he's taking a shit after a full day of watching college football would make me actually follow through with my threat to fuck him up. Right now someone is playing one of these riffs on a Carvin guitar in pristine condition with a Floyd Rose locking tremolo. I like that guy because he's not filming himself and bumming me out.We can assume that if that guy went into Alex's store, Alex would be a prick to him and try to show him up. I'm going to search every finished basement in New Jersey until I find "that guy," the perfect ripper to challenge Alex to a duel like in Crossroads.To make it more entertaining, my duel would take place in a suburban mall food court. Each contestant will have a Marshall full stack set up facing each other at opposite ends--Alex by the spot that sells the oily pretzels, and Jersey metal guy by Sbarro. The rules: no solos, no whammy bars, no stopping, no repeats, and no fucking finger tapping. Each guy must play riffs until he runs out of them without stopping. You're allowed to wear a beer helmet, which will be replenished by the contest staff upon request, you can wear a diaper, and it's BYOPB (Bring Your Own Pedal Board). Alex, you're going to have to brush up on “Wasted Years” and “The Trooper” to take this, The Shins aren't going to cut it.@anthonypops