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We're told most weeks by over-earnest Sky Sports idents that football is the working man's ballet, but at its best the culture is more like the working man's open mic night; a comedy forum for people who weren't allowed into the Cambridge Footlights. Maybe it happens less than it used to, but a football match is still a place where an utterly talentless man who spends most of his time drunk or asleep can make hundreds of people laugh with a well-timed jibe aimed at someone who's dedicated years of his life to becoming a professional athlete.The problem with football humour lies in repetition and thus the problem with football humour lies in the invention of the internet. Repetition probably wasn't too much of a problem when you were on the terraces once a fortnight, but being a football fan on Twitter's like being trapped on the terraces 24/7, surrounded by a crowd of morons all re-telling the same jokes to each other again and again and again and again.Wayne Rooney is all set to join Chelsea after I agreed personal terms with his wife Coleen last night… And this morning too #john terry
— Kd hottest prospect (@bonedflesh1) August 3, 2013
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My room is as Dusty as Arsenal's Trophy Cabinet.
— Kashif (@TheRealSnorky) August 5, 2013
There's nothing I love more than listening to Adrian Durham infuriate self-righteous Arsenal fans, but no one's coming out of this gag well. It's one that even people who don't like football would groan at. It's football's "What's the deal with airline food?" It makes A Question of Sport look like a groundbreaking Edinburgh Fringe production.The second one doesn't even make sense. Medicals are carried out at training grounds and hospitals, not club museums. And even if Suarez did suffer from a dust allergy, presumably it wouldn't cause him to faint.These need to go before all football humour is reduced to sub-Christmas cracker level, before FourFourTom gets so many RTs he starts thinking he's Peter Cook. Yes, we know Arsenal don't spend money, Gareth Bale dives, John Terry puts it about and Luis Suarez bit someone once. We know Wayne Rooney looks like Shrek. We don't need 200 variations on the form.SCRAP THE ENGLISH NATIONAL TEAMAlright, England's never gonna be a Samba football nation. You aren't going to suddenly see those ashen-faced patriots who follow the national side paint themselves yellow and start throwing confetti at opposition fans. It's always more likely to be plastic chairs. As an idea, Team England is always going to be a bit more Jimmy Bullard than Jairzinho.#BREAKING Suarez has failed a medical at Arsenal after having a sudden asthma attack by opening Arsenals long forgotten dusty trophy cabinet
— david hughes (@DavidHughesd24) July 24, 2013
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