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Vice Blog

SAN FRANCISCO - THE TOUR FROM HELL


You've heard about band tours from hell, where vans get smashed and equipment gets stolen and someone punches out the asshole soundguy and not only forfeits the night's pay but also is kicked out of the town for life, the cops come and shut everything down night after night, everyone mysteriously gets scabies, everyone's cheating on their girlfriends and they all feel really guilty, the singer spends all the band's money on TCBY, and it's fucking cold the whole time. All that's nothing compared to what Hawnay Troof's Vice Cooler went through on his world tour for his latest record. But one good thing did come out of it, and that's this new video of his song "Front My Hope." Watch it and read his dossier of maladies below.

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When my new record came out I went on a world tour that lasted for four months. During that trip my rental got towed in Chicago, we got it back then pulled into New York with $12. We woke up in Lubbock a few days later and went to a "health food" store that didn't have anything in it, so we got this frozen mango salsa. It thawed out by the time we got to Arizona. But once we were there, and eating it in the car, we realized it had expired FIVE YEARS earlier.

We got distracted because right when I figured that out, "A Millie" came on and we turned it up. Five seconds later a cop pulled us over and thought we were drug trafficking (the rental place gave us a "free upgrade" aka all they had were SUVs in the lot and this was during $5 gas!) so he illegally searched our car. All he found was boxes of Easy Bake Ovens ad Kurt Cobain t-shirts form thrift stores. But he discovered that my driver hadn't paid a parking ticket in San Francisco and used that to take our rental away from us.

They towed us to the middle of nowhere and threw us into a Motel 6 parking lot and drove away. (And ended up charging me thousands and thousands of dollars months later). I ended up having to rent a U-haul which cost $200 in gas. Then a dog bit me. Then I got a sinus infection and had to fly to Australia, an 18 hour flight. There I played on a lake in Sydney and of course I jumped in, only to get my foot cut wide open. And then I found out the lake was poisonous.

I ended up back home for three days and played each night. XBXRX played a show, which was fun. Everyone was in a good mood, but Weasel Walter didn't see me and threw his drum and it knocked me out. I had to go to the hospital and get eight stitches. Immediately after I was discharged I took BART to the airport to fly to Glasgow, and the plane broke down during take off. My flight was moved around a bunch and once I got to Glasgow my bag was missing. I did my whole UK tour with NOTHING.

I got back home and went up to the Northwest right when that stupid Arctic blast hit so I pulled up to a cancelled show (and got a speeding ticket on the way up). I drove back home but the 5 was closed. I talked the cops into letting me drive it anyway, but I had three spin offs (which fucked up the rental car). My chains broke off and went under the vehicle, smashing everything. This caused the brakes and heating to go out. So I almost died.

In the midst of all of this only a couple good things happened: I had some top-rated videos on MTV2 and MTVU and the pressing of the record sold out in a week. But really, making this video is what saved me. It was a much needed soul refresher, one of my six days off in four months. I shot it in my family-friendly neighborhood and everyone looked at us like we were insane. Probably we are.

VICE COOLER