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Vice Blog

CHINA - FREAKY ANCIENT WEED GRAVE


We knew the ancient Chinese were way into herb administration, but we had no idea they were into weed until some scientists found the world's oldest marijuana stash in a 2,700-year-old grave in the Gobi desert. Still-green, according to this boring report, it was found along with some super valuable and weird shit, including an earthenware pot, a horse lash and bridle or halter, a leather medicine bag, archery equipment, a rare harp, a wooden wimble tool, leather make-up bag, leather ring, and a wooden implement. Oh, and a white man's head in a basket.

First of all, what the hell's a "wooden implement"? Is that science talk for "dildo"? They surmise this whole kinky tomb was set up for a shaman, but with all the leather and weaponry and make-up, not to mention the chopped off head, it sounds more like they excavated some fucked-up S&M drug lair. It's always the case in societies where people refer to sex acts in metaphors (in the case of ancient Chinese jism euphemism, "rain" for men and "clouds" for women) that behind the scenes it gets real nasty. Second, what's up with the head? Just the head? Of a blond-haired, blue-eyed man? And for three, what's the weed like? They did smoke it, no? Too many unanswered questions here.