Dear Vice,
From our landlord: "They's two types of guys. They's Mafioso and they's wise guys. I don't have no time for wise guys but Mafioso. They's like Robbie Hood. You know Robbie Hood? When I was a boy in Sicily, in Palermo, I use to take my bike up to the rich areas of town and sell them eggs and homemade bread. I did pretty good. Then one day I come out and everything is gone. My eggs, my bread even my fucking bike."And I go to this old man's house and I'm crying and he's says, 'What happen' and I tell him the whole story and he says, 'You wait here. Don't move!'"An hour later he comes back with everything. He was Mafioso. And after that nobody mess with me. People almost bow when I go by…"You know when I was a kid my Mother said to me she said, "The people that need their hands cut off. You kiss their hand." And I said, "But Ma. They don't need a kiss. They don't even need they hand cut off. They need they fucking head cut off." And she said, "No. You kiss they hand. Because when you do they come back to you ten times more. They bring you all the business you want." But you can't let people abuse you. If someone keeps coming at you and you keep letting them go one day you have to take care of it. My Mother said about that she said, "If you have to do something you don't tell nobody. If two person knows then four person then eight and then you caught. Also, don't do anything on a Friday." Why? I don't know. That's the old ways. I remember when I was a kid. I would listen to these old people and I'd say, 'You know what? These old people. They got something. They smart.'
From our landlord: "They's two types of guys. They's Mafioso and they's wise guys. I don't have no time for wise guys but Mafioso. They's like Robbie Hood. You know Robbie Hood? When I was a boy in Sicily, in Palermo, I use to take my bike up to the rich areas of town and sell them eggs and homemade bread. I did pretty good. Then one day I come out and everything is gone. My eggs, my bread even my fucking bike."And I go to this old man's house and I'm crying and he's says, 'What happen' and I tell him the whole story and he says, 'You wait here. Don't move!'"An hour later he comes back with everything. He was Mafioso. And after that nobody mess with me. People almost bow when I go by…"You know when I was a kid my Mother said to me she said, "The people that need their hands cut off. You kiss their hand." And I said, "But Ma. They don't need a kiss. They don't even need they hand cut off. They need they fucking head cut off." And she said, "No. You kiss they hand. Because when you do they come back to you ten times more. They bring you all the business you want." But you can't let people abuse you. If someone keeps coming at you and you keep letting them go one day you have to take care of it. My Mother said about that she said, "If you have to do something you don't tell nobody. If two person knows then four person then eight and then you caught. Also, don't do anything on a Friday." Why? I don't know. That's the old ways. I remember when I was a kid. I would listen to these old people and I'd say, 'You know what? These old people. They got something. They smart.'