Dear Vice,
I have a problem. It started about a year ago when I was on holiday with my girlfriend's family. We all had dinner together and then hung out in the hotel bar. After a few drinks my girlfriend went to bed and I hung out with her brothers. I was kinda nervous about meeting them (one is a cop and the other is a boxer) so I steadied my nerves with a few whiskeys. A few turned into a shitload and soon I was challenging them to a shot contest. Roaring drunk, I eventually stumbled upstairs to the hotel room…The next morning I woke up hungover. I rolled over to hug my girlfriend, but she pushed me away and started screaming at me. She said that in the middle of the night I had jumped out of bed, ran over to the cupboard and starting pissing inside, all over her shoes. The sound of me pissing had woken her up but when she asked me what the hell I was doing, I turned on her and told her to fuck off. I didn't have a clue what she was on about. I couldn't remember a thing.A few months later, I was at a friend's house and a similar thing happened. We were all really wasted and I passed out on the couch. The next morning I went home not knowing that in the middle of the night I had gotten up, stumbled over to my friend's closet and relieved myself all over her clothes. Again, when she challenged me mid-piss, I got all nasty and told her to fuck off. Again, the next day, I didn't remember anything.I went back to my hometown about a month ago and stayed a couple of days at my grandmother's house. I went out with some old friends to a local bar and got really drunk. Somehow I made it back to my gran's house and went to bed. In the morning, all bleary-eyed, I got up and started eating breakfast. I noticed that my grandma was dragging her wet mattress out to the balcony to dry. She was fuming and asked me what the hell I was playing at. I didn't know what she was talking about. She then proceeded to tell me that I had gotten up in the middle of the night, walked into her bedroom, unzipped and began pissing on her bed while she was sleeping in it. With my pee raining down on her, she shouted at me to stop but I told her to fuck off and went back to bed.I have NO recollection about these incidents. I put it down to getting drunk in a foreign environment where I don't know where the toilet is. It's not so much sleepwalking as drunken memory-loss. It's very embarrassing but I want to know if other people have had similar experiences… No? Just me then?
I have a problem. It started about a year ago when I was on holiday with my girlfriend's family. We all had dinner together and then hung out in the hotel bar. After a few drinks my girlfriend went to bed and I hung out with her brothers. I was kinda nervous about meeting them (one is a cop and the other is a boxer) so I steadied my nerves with a few whiskeys. A few turned into a shitload and soon I was challenging them to a shot contest. Roaring drunk, I eventually stumbled upstairs to the hotel room…The next morning I woke up hungover. I rolled over to hug my girlfriend, but she pushed me away and started screaming at me. She said that in the middle of the night I had jumped out of bed, ran over to the cupboard and starting pissing inside, all over her shoes. The sound of me pissing had woken her up but when she asked me what the hell I was doing, I turned on her and told her to fuck off. I didn't have a clue what she was on about. I couldn't remember a thing.A few months later, I was at a friend's house and a similar thing happened. We were all really wasted and I passed out on the couch. The next morning I went home not knowing that in the middle of the night I had gotten up, stumbled over to my friend's closet and relieved myself all over her clothes. Again, when she challenged me mid-piss, I got all nasty and told her to fuck off. Again, the next day, I didn't remember anything.I went back to my hometown about a month ago and stayed a couple of days at my grandmother's house. I went out with some old friends to a local bar and got really drunk. Somehow I made it back to my gran's house and went to bed. In the morning, all bleary-eyed, I got up and started eating breakfast. I noticed that my grandma was dragging her wet mattress out to the balcony to dry. She was fuming and asked me what the hell I was playing at. I didn't know what she was talking about. She then proceeded to tell me that I had gotten up in the middle of the night, walked into her bedroom, unzipped and began pissing on her bed while she was sleeping in it. With my pee raining down on her, she shouted at me to stop but I told her to fuck off and went back to bed.I have NO recollection about these incidents. I put it down to getting drunk in a foreign environment where I don't know where the toilet is. It's not so much sleepwalking as drunken memory-loss. It's very embarrassing but I want to know if other people have had similar experiences… No? Just me then?