I've always been shit at arm-wrestling. At school it was just another humiliation I had to deal with alongside nipple cripples and dead-legs. I guess I never really got over it. Then one day I came across videos of competitive arm-wrestlers squeezing grippers. They got me thinking that maybe I too could train to gain what it takes to go Over The Top. In need of a coach, I contacted the UK's undisputed women's junior champion, sixteen-year-old Joanne Poole (pictured). We locked hands in a pub in Slough where she trains alongside other members of the South East Arm-Wrestling Krew.Vice: Have you ever hustled anyone?
Joanne Poole: Oh yeah. I was on a night out with my mates and I don’t know how we got to talking about arm-wrestling, but this bloke challenged my friend. He said, "Sure, let’s do it for a round of drinks." Then he was like, "No wait! Do my friend instead." So this guy was like "What? A girl? Yeah, alright!" Then… WHOOMPH! Hahaha.I’ve read some horror stories about people getting their arms snapped.
Well, you break your own arm in this game. That’s the way it goes. On the old tables it was easy to get hurt. But the way they’re set up now, you don’t put strain on your arm, so it’s your own fault if it happens. I’ve seen it happen once or twice. It wasn’t pretty.Do you have a stage name?
Well, my dad was called "The Hitman," so I just took after that. I’m "The Hitwoman."How do you become good at this?
People think you need a bodybuilder’s strength, but it’s more like rock climbing or gymnastics. Big guys build up lactic acid, so they burn out and fade away. You need stamina.You reckon I’ve got what it takes?
[Laughs] Being good at this is a combination of strength, technique and genetics.Well, I've got very little strength, no technique, and the only thing genetics has given me is an increased risk of rheumatoid arthritis.
OK.But it wouldn’t be fair to leave without a challenge, would it?
Come on then.Is there any way of cheating?
Well, I could break your thumb quite easily. But other than that, not really.* I stepped up to the table and I steeled myself for an addendum to my long and distinguished heritage of indignities. Joanne then described how wrestlers probe for weaknesses as they grip up for a match, jostling with each other to gauge wrist and arm strength. She grinned as we squared off, her arm immobile. I seized upon her arrogance and gave it my all. She grinned some more and then dropped me like a dead weight.DAVINA REGAN
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Joanne Poole: Oh yeah. I was on a night out with my mates and I don’t know how we got to talking about arm-wrestling, but this bloke challenged my friend. He said, "Sure, let’s do it for a round of drinks." Then he was like, "No wait! Do my friend instead." So this guy was like "What? A girl? Yeah, alright!" Then… WHOOMPH! Hahaha.I’ve read some horror stories about people getting their arms snapped.
Well, you break your own arm in this game. That’s the way it goes. On the old tables it was easy to get hurt. But the way they’re set up now, you don’t put strain on your arm, so it’s your own fault if it happens. I’ve seen it happen once or twice. It wasn’t pretty.Do you have a stage name?
Well, my dad was called "The Hitman," so I just took after that. I’m "The Hitwoman."How do you become good at this?
People think you need a bodybuilder’s strength, but it’s more like rock climbing or gymnastics. Big guys build up lactic acid, so they burn out and fade away. You need stamina.You reckon I’ve got what it takes?
[Laughs] Being good at this is a combination of strength, technique and genetics.Well, I've got very little strength, no technique, and the only thing genetics has given me is an increased risk of rheumatoid arthritis.
OK.But it wouldn’t be fair to leave without a challenge, would it?
Come on then.Is there any way of cheating?
Well, I could break your thumb quite easily. But other than that, not really.* I stepped up to the table and I steeled myself for an addendum to my long and distinguished heritage of indignities. Joanne then described how wrestlers probe for weaknesses as they grip up for a match, jostling with each other to gauge wrist and arm strength. She grinned as we squared off, her arm immobile. I seized upon her arrogance and gave it my all. She grinned some more and then dropped me like a dead weight.DAVINA REGAN