My birthday was this week [Friday], so I’m still giving myself the weekend to celebrate. That means I have no time to be wordy, because I’m still hungover from the wine I drank four days ago as my pre-pre-birthday celebration. That also means I’ll have no time to be wordy next week, because I’ll still be hungover from my post-post-birthday celebration. Anyway, I do have some words from this week’s Instagram scan.
Drake
My vision must be failing me, because at a distance I thought Drake joined the Cobra Kai dojo from the Karate Kid in this jacket. Then I looked closer and saw it was just an angry ass duck holding a bag of money. No mercy.
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Nick Cannon
Nick Cannon got the Erykah Badu boyfriend-style makeover, and the Carters are very confused. Blue doesn’t give a fuck though. She looks like she’s talking into a giant stack of money.
Migos
DID SOMEBODY SAY TALKING INTO A GIANT STACK OF MONEYYYYYY? :/
Diplo
If Sting is actually Diplo’s dad, then Diplo must be a huge disappointment to the family. JK kind of.
Gwen Stefani
I spend every day of my life trying to achieve the ultimate hair tyed back, red lipstick and glasses selfie. It never has and never will work out as well as Gwen’s here.
The Weeknd
And here we have Abel rocking a jacket with the pattern of a Coachella girl’s tramp stamp.
Migos
Might be Migos overkill, but there’s never enough Ellen in the world.
Lauryn Hill
So we live in a world where Lauryn Hill is a grandmother. Let THAT sink in. Gorgeous baby, though. Congrats to Zion and his whole family.
2 Chainz
Everytime I see Guy Fieri, my blood pressure rises, and I have no idea why. I also have the insatiable urge to eat a deep-fried cheeseburger. But this photo looks like two coworkers from different departments who got drunk together at the holiday party and will ignore each other Monday morning.
Wale
Wait, and now Wale is involved in this poorly constructed chatroom?
Cassie
Is it still accurate to call Cassie a musician? I don’t even know at this point, but she slays every photo she takes so that’s good enough for me and this column.
The Game
Posting because I love Game and his buttprint.
Rita Ora
So the BRIT Awards were this week, and Rita Ora gave me the perfect solution dress for looking hot but keeping it real with camo.
Ellie Goulding
Also, Ellie Goulding’s BRIT Awards dress reminded me that I need to hit the gym. And turn down birthday cake.
Meek Mill
I had a press trip to attend this week, and I was picked up in this exact car. Long story short, I am Meek Mill.
Wish Kathy Iandoli a Happy Birthday on Twitter/Instagram @kath3000.
