Why Must I Be Like That? Nothing But the ‘Dog Witch’ In Me (Demo Impressions)

Dwayne has done it again. Thinking that I was free from his continued recommending of roguelikes that would inevitably sap away so much of my time that I would look up and see grey in my beard, I got complacent. I let my guard down, and then when I least expected it, he drops Dog Witch right in my lap. The worst part is he didn’t even directly recommend it to me. He just dropped it off in the work board like he knew it was gonna be me. He confirmed as much via text message.

‘dog witch’ has too many things I love

Immediately upon starting Dog Witch, I knew I was in trouble. First off, I’m always going to go up for an animated publisher/production company logo. I love them. Good on you, Mystic Forge. Past that, I need to know who worked on this soundtrack right now because it is perfection. It’s like listening to a combination of Adult Swim stings and the Lo-Fi Girl YouTube channel. How the hell am I even supposed to get into the game when I’m stuck on the menu zoning out? If I could, I would pull the game menu up just to have it on in the background while I wrote. I need this soundtrack available somewhere ASAP.

And then the customization of Dog Witch kicked in. I could change my dog’s face, coat color, eyes, and even tail. And then, the ultimate settings: size and chonk. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t opt for maximum chonk. Seeing my dog, named Bink, flying through the air at full chonk had me wondering why this game isn’t at the top of everyone’s list. But of course, the gameplay matters, too, and it is just as excellent.

Dog Witch operates like many of the deckbuilding roguelikes out there. You roll the dice and pick what you want to use in that moment. You have your attacks, defensive dice, spells, buffs, and summons. I wouldn’t be able to have any sense of pride in myself if I didn’t make it to the first boss on my first shot. I managed to pull it off with exactly 1HP left. The battles prior definitely proved to be a challenge, just taking a blind shot at the game and learning the cards. But I can see the potential for loading up and doing some serious damage as the game progresses. Dog Witch is on Steam and has a demo, but doesn’t have a release date. I’ll be first in the virtual line when it does come out.