Willie Nelson says that his wife imposed three rules on their kids when they were growing up: “Don’t be an asshole, don’t be an asshole, and don’t be a goddamn asshole.” Willie, apparently, had his own separate but very much related rule: “Don’t start no shit and there won’t be no shit.” He told this all to the Rolling Stone in an interview that ran this morning. It was brief but, inevitably, perfect. With comedians still getting to grips with the Trump shitshow and country musicians mostly ignoring it, Nelson is wittier, more foul-mouthed, and more incisive than most of his far younger peers. Maybe that shouldn’t be such a surprise but, goddamnit, Willie Nelson is 84 years old and touring behind his 61st studio album.
Take Nelson’s views on Attorney General Jeff Sessions, a man who looks and behaves like Cotton Hill fighting his way out of a used condom. Nelson says that Sessions should get high instead of ramping up a racist, failed drug war.
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Jeff Sessions recently said that pot is “only slightly less awful” than heroin.
I wonder if he’s tried both of them. I don’t think you can really make a statement like that unless you tried it all. So I’d like to suggest to Jeff to try it and then let me know later if he thinks he’s still telling the truth!
Or take his statement that running for office would only be an option if he was stoned:
You sell “Willie Nelson for President” bumper stickers. Do a lot of people tell you to run for office?
Oh, yeah, which makes me even more glad that I didn’t. I came close a couple times. And then I sobered up.
Nelson says that cursing is exercise, just like running or riding a horse. He says that, if he were elected president, he’d immediately make “fuck it” one word. He can drop all of these lines and then pivot to a profound thought about the power of music. I want this written over an image of Nelson in sunglasses and framed on my wall:
I think you can do more with music than you can with arguments and politics. I think a song will reach more people than any other thing. There’s a reason that it’s called “harmony”: When you play a show, there’s an energy exchange with the people that is unimaginable. It’s the reason I go out there. I get something out of it too.
We must treasure and protect Willie Nelson, even if he could outfight, outsmoke, and outcuss every last one of us.
Alex Robert Ross is on Twitter. Fuckit.